Today is the day to eat peanut butter flavored cereal.

Oprah is a Baby

As a woman and a Chicagoan, I cannot express my adoration for Oprah Winfrey. She's smart, she's successful, she's human, she donated a buttload of money to Millenium Park. She likes dogs and food and she has great clothes. I adore Oprah! I think that if this were the equivalent of the Middle Ages and we were to fast-forward twelve hundred years, in the future scholars would definitely think that this Oprah person was a deity, if not a canonized being.

I don't usually watch or read Oprah on a daily basis, but every once in a while, I tune in. Yesterday, I took a sick day from work and it was one of my sick day treats: watchin' Oprah.

This show was about looking younger than you do and celebrating your age and whatnot. Oprah, getting more magnificent by the minute (you might think I'm being sarcastic but I'm not), decided to take the plunge and do something she had never done before: get her ears pierced. And she was going to do it on camera. Good for Oprah!

Oprah, unsurprisingly, was a little hesitant when it came to having her ears pierced. After all, it's painful and before you get it done, you don't know what to expect.

So, Oprah being Oprah, had a plastic surgeon do the piercing for her, and had an audience member come up and hold her hand, and had the entire audience cheering for her.

And she flinched. And winced. And balked. And this stretched out. For fifteeen minutes.

I recall that when I got my first ear pierced, I thought, "That wasn't so bad," and so the other one got punched immediately afterwards. But Oprah dithered and avoided the second ear for another really long time.

Come on, Oprah. When you want your ears pierced, you're ready for the experience. Sure, you're nervous but you're not going to run away from the gun. Moreso, you're Oprah. You give away cars! You've lost and gained weight on camera! You're one of the richest women in the world! You smoked crack! You produced Beloved! You've appeared on TV with no makeup Are you telling me you can't suck it up to get your ears pierced? I mean, I would be a lot more afraid of giving up carbs.

I still adore Oprah but I have to admit I was a little surprised by the squeamishness. If I can do it (four times), you can do it, Oprah.

Now give me some free stuff.