Today is the day to email birthday wishes to Steve D.

Sharon Osbourne Runs Out of Secrets

Shortly after revealing on this site that she still binge eats, still enjoys her plastic surgery, has had an abortion and three miscarriages, Sharon Osbourne immediately ran out of secrets to reveal about herself and her family. Which is a shame because it was my turn to interview her. Here are some of the 'exclusive' nuggets I got:

"See this scar on my foot? I stepped on a shell on the beach once when I was a little kid. I bet you didn't know that. Isn't that shocking and touching?"

"Did you know that Ozzy's real name is John Michael Osbourne? Oh, you did? Did you know then that 'Ozzy' is what those of us in the 'business' refer to as a 'stage name'?"

"This is my real accent."

"This is not my real hair color."

"I've replaced your regular coffee with scaaary, damned Folger's Crystals."

"Um...I bought this shirt at the Gap, can you believe that?"

"Uh...I breast-fed the kids. You know, breasts?"

"I had this really crazy dream the other night."

The interview pretty much ended there so Sharon could go spend time with her family and try to brainstorm more secrets that she might have forgotten to tell people.