Today is the day to throw away the used kleenex.

Steve D. had a sounding off meltdown after the election, and he is resting comfortably at home, which was a fatal mistake, because it's made him vulnerable to such attacks as this:

Sounding Off with Leonard P. on Sounding Off with Steve D.

If there's one thing I really enjoy, it's sounding off. Almost any weekday, you can find me sounding off good and loud about whatever happens to cross my path. I'm what you might call an equal-opportunity sounder-off: I'll sound off anytime, anyplace, about anything. For a guy like me, there's never a bad time for sounding off.

Or so I thought!

During the course of my daily combing of the internet to find appropriate topics about which to sound off, I happened across this fellow "Steve D.", who fancies himself something of an expert on sounding off. Now, it just so happens, I know Steve D. Steve D. is a good man. I would even go as far as to say that Steve D. is a friend of mine. But let me tell you something: Steve D. couldn't sound off if it was National Sound Off Day in Sound Off Bay, Alaska!

The problem with young people today is, they think all there is to sounding off is to stand on top of a box and open your yapper. Well, the fact is, sounding off takes a lifetime of practice. You have to go through years of training, arduous labor, and endless practice. You can't just up and decide to sound off! The only reason I chose to sound off about this second-class, cut-rate off-sounding is because I'm an expert at sounding off, and when I sound off on you, you'll know you've been sounded off upon! Too much off and not enough sound, that's the problem with sound-offy-come-latelies like Steve D.

Now, let's give credit where credit is due: Steve D. can mouth off like nobody's business. He's a regular Picasso at lipping off. I've even seen him give people the business a few times. But when you need somebody to sound off, you'd be better off with an angry monkey! Blowing smoke, gassing, and raising a squawk are not sounding off! Face facts, Junior: good qualities you may have, but sounding off just ain't one of them. Stick to what you're good at - yakkin', blabbin', and the occasional feudin' and a-fussin' - and leave sounding off to the experts.