September 09, 2004

Today is the day to sleep in full makeup.

Dr. Luvvie Smalls is in TODAY. Have you sent her your question about love/sex/the opposite sex?

Dear Dr. Luv,

Why are people so freaky about the butt sex? It is just sex. No reason to get mad.

Buttfully yours,

Northwest Passage

Dear Northwest,

I don't think anyone here is really mad about butt sex. It's more that there's a stigma attached to it. People see butt sex as being dirty, wrong, forbidden, whatever. But the truth is, for every person whose sign on his/her ass says "Not Enter" (Ms. Zulkey will personally pay $20 cash to the person who can name the movie that line is in), there's another person who is all about giving it or taking it in the booty. Don't hate. Procreate.

Dear Dr. Luv,

Why don't girls like me?

Stinkfully yours,
Rheinwein

Dear Rheinwein,

Girls probably think you're too sarcastic.

Dear Dr. Luv,

Is this tantic sex thing a lot of hooey, or what?
Hindilly yours,
Panther Patchouli

Dear P.P.,

This is one topic I unfortunately have no knowledge about. I suggest you ask Sting about it. I'm sure he'd be happy to talk to you about tantric sex. For hours. And hours. And hours!