July 1,
2004
Rabbit rabbit.
The Zulkey.com Guide to Padding Your Resume
"I Do Community Service"
Good: "Daily Housebuilding with Habitat for Humanity"
Better: "Dancin' for Pennies for Babies"
Best: "Regurgitation of Food for Homeless Birdies"
"I Am Responsible"
Good: "Foster parent to 80 extremely special needs children"
Better: "Interim Prime Minister of Iraq"
Best: "Washes Own Hands 40 Times an Hour, Along with Those of Anybody
who is Around"
"I am Smart"
Good: "Gradute of the 'School of Life'"
Better: "I Typed Almost All of This Msyelf"
Best: "I'm Smarter Than You, Asswipe."
"I Have Good References"
Good: "The Reverend Sunyung Moon is a Buddy of Mine"
Better: "I Own the Oxford English Dictionary"
Best: "Here's 50 bucks."
"I am Skilled"
Good: "I'm on Atkins"
Better: "I Put Together a Lamp, Once"
Best: "I Got Mad Skillz."
"I Have Interesting Interests"
Good: "My Interests are Really Interesting"
Better: "My Interests are Really, Really Interesting"
Best: "Skeet-Shooting Champion."