February 13, 2004

Today is the day to give your sweetie a pinch.

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Zulkey.com was running late today, and to save time, is going to crib the introduction to today's interviewee from Kittenpants:

"Everything about Corn Mo is a contradiction. Heís a shy Kentucky boy living in a Brooklyn ghetto; a college graduate who ran away to join the circus; a vaudevillian entertainer belting out heavy metal hits with an accordion." I say, if you're feeling low and querying the state of the music industry, please listen to his music, who creates auditory delight.

The Corn Mo Interview: A Little Less Than Twenty Questions

Tell us about the Corn Mo show.
Itís a talk show but it may be more than that. Itís still not finished.

What do you use to take care of your beautiful blonde hair?
Lately, Iíve been using Pert Plus. Itís a shitty ëpoo but itís in the bathroom right now and Iím too cheap to go buy something better. Dice Clay uses Pert Plus and so do I.

Tell us something most people donít know about the accordian?
If you open the back, thereís a lot of long metal pins so that if you push a hard-boiled egg through the pins, youíll probably mess it up. It can start wars and your car when itís cold. It can also keep someone alive for 2 minutes.

Your name is Jon Cunningham. How did you come to go by Corn Mo? I know this isnít a very original question but indulge me.
I was playing RBI baseball on Nintendo and needed names for my players. When I needed a band name I looked at my baseball roster and picked Corn Mo. He pitches. Heís shut out a lot of games. And yes, my name is Jon Cunningham.

What do your friends call you? Corn? Mo? Jon? Richie?
All of the above.

A lot of people have compared you in part to Weird Al. Have you ever met him? He seems like a really nice guy. If you havenít met him, whatís your favorite Weird Al song?
I like Amish Paradise and Nature Trail to Hell ëcause itís got backward masking. Iíve never met him but Iíve tried to tour with him. His manager wonít have 2 accordions on one night. He must be broken with my man-whispers. My road manager hung out with him one night and watched ìWilly Wonkaî with him and some friends. She said he was a real nice, fun fellow. I loved UHF. Someday, my prince will come.

You prefer not to be known as a novelty act. So what do you do to avoid that label?
Iím trying to write beautiful songs rather than funny songs. The accordion already has the stigma of being an immediate novelty instrument. I am guilty of writing stupid songs so it may seem Iím not trying hard enough to steer from novelty. But I have a hard time discriminating between the Idiot Muse and the Angelic Muse.

What is a purple nurple? I hear you wrote a song about receiving one on a school bus. Can you tell us the tale?
Itís a Titty Twister. In seventh grade, we all got one on the bus by some assholes who thought we were in on the joke. You pretend to laugh ëcause if you donít, you either look like a wuss or youíre gonna kick someoneís ass. I believed I was in on the joke and my best friend, Alvin, didnít. I gave him one and couldnít believe I could hurt someone so bad. So instead of stopping, I turned it up. When I was done, I was laughing but my friend called me an asshole instead of buddy and didnít want to hang out anymore. I felt like a real shithead because I was. We made up later and started playing [Dungeons and Dragons] again.

Junior High is a playground for evil. Every Junior High or Middle School is the Lord of the Flies. Assholes are not in low supply. But the difference between a junior high asshole and other assholes is that theyíre fun assholes. Junior High is a charming, shitty time.

I student-taught junior high and loved it. I taught seventh, eighth, and ninth grades and my favorite was seventh. Totally adorable shitheads.

Have you finished your rock opera? What is it about?
Iím still working on Alice Wakeman, the old rock star in a castle story. I just finished a run of ìCircus by the Seaî that I cowrote with my girlfriend, The Fabulous Miss Una. It was a circus rock opera complete with her aerial acts, a cowboy, and funny guys.

You say that you were not popular in grade school. What did you get picked on for? Does this still inspire you or are you over it?
I think Iím over it. I wrote another song about high school but it was fictional. I think I still have some inspired moments that are waiting to be sung. I think if I could go back in time and give myself some advice it would be to have more confidence. My younger self would not understand and Iíd still be the same today except that Iíd know time travel.

Is there a big difference between your concert performance and what people hear on your albums?
Yes, there is a big difference. The shows are just me and the albums are almost just me but me doing different tracks. I get a lot of complaints that the albums donít reflect the live shows. But those complaints arenít angry.

Are you signed with a label right now, and if so, which one? If not, how come?
Iím on a friendís label, Guns a Blazin' Records. Chris Weber is a friend of mine that had money and wanted to start a label. Itís got another cd in his library just recently. Chris Weber is real nice and a real good friend. Iím very lucky to have had his investment..

Iím not on a big label because I guess Iím not a big sell. Iím cool with the friend label.

You literally joined the circus, something people donít seem to do as much anymore. What were some of the other acts that were with your group?
The Bindlestiff Family Cirkus [included] Magic Brian (magic), The Fabulous Miss Una (aerial), Mr. Pennygaff (sword swallower), Philomena (whipcracker, fireeater), Al Milar (contortionist), Okra P. Dingle (knife thrower; broke cinder block on his head), Tanya Solomon (glass walking, accordion-playing, ate worms), Wau Wau Sisters (trapeze, acrobatics, singing), Rocket Johnny (blew shit up on stage), Kinko (clown).

Planet Banana, [composed of] Clarke McFarlane (juggling) and Sylvia Machete (trapeze, juggling). Circus Boreal [included] Giovanni Zoppe (clown), Los Argentinos de Gauchos (bola act), Kristine Herriot (pony act), Christopher James (slack rope act), The Faustos Scorpions (foot juggling), The Fabulous Miss Una and Kalki (hula hoops). Circus Una [was made up of] The Fabulous Miss Una, Chris Rozzi (funnyman), Mike Gold (funnyman), AJ Silver (cowboy) and Kevin Bybee (music). Ward Hallís Sideshow [included] Falstaff the Fat (fatman), Mephisto (fireeater), Petey (clown; was munchkin in wizard of oz), Magic Brian, Philomena, Mr. Pennygaff and Okra P Dingle (played with snakes and read). I did the bed of nails act once. It fuckiní hurt.

You say that you throw up if you eat before a show. Do you get stage fright or does it abate the more you perform?
I donít really get stage fright but I do get nervous before shows. The eating holds me back. If I do eat, I sometimes vomit a little during the show. I donít drink beer before either. And cheese is out for that day, too.

People get excited when they know youíve thrown up. But I donít think itís good for me.

One of your first gigs was with a juggling troupe. What advice do you have for novice jugglers?
I never peformed as a juggler. I did music for that troupe. Iím okay with a 3-ball routine. If you want to juggle, start with scarves. Itís like juggling in slow motion.

You work part time for the teen magazine Alloy. Is it, like totally awesome?!
It totally sucks. When itís slow I have to look busy. By the end of the day, I have nothing to show for myself. But there are models that come in from time to time. Theyíre real pretty. Some of them have conversations about having to lose an inch or two for their next job. I like jobs where you have to gain an inch. Stallone had to eat a shitload of donuts for Copland.

Whereís your favorite place to perform, either a city or a club, and why?
Club?
I like playing Dallas because my old friends are there. 9:30 Club in DC is awesome. They treat you very well and feed you and give you more beer than you need. The Paradise in Boston is cool, too. The manager, Billy Budd, is a piece of gold. Iím not being some suckass diplomat but most of the places Iíve played on the road have been great. I like playing at sideshow venues. I did play one venue a few years ago that I donít want to name because they sucked ass. They asked me to take out the garbage, wash the dishes after the show. I shit you not.

What have you been listening to lately?
Lilí Beethoven by Sparks. Itís an amazing album. And Loneliness Knows my Name by Patrick Park. I toured with him last year. His songs make me cry.

How does it feel to be the 89th person interviewed for Zulkey.com?
Itís cool. Iím glad I didnít have to physically wait in line.