A Martian Love Story

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Today is the day to eat the wax lips.

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A Martian Love Story

Beagle was a smart kid deep down, but he was trouble. He didn't listen to nobody and he did his own thing. So while his parents were heartened by his enthusiasm for his trip to Mars and hoped that he might buckle down and work hard there, it wasn't a terrible surprise that he gave them a big "Kiss my ass," and ran off to explore the planet, and never called or wrote.

Rover was a cute, overachieving popular girl who was the toast of the town and loved by all, especially by her proud, overprotective parents. She knew her destiny was to go to the Red Planet and she worked hard at her task. When she finally got there, she did her homework studiously, doing research, collecting samples, and being a good girl, despite the lonely, scary, unfamiliar terrain.

After a few days, Rover saw someone on the horizon. Beagle sidled up on his leather jacket and lit a cigarette, despite the hostile atmosphere.

"Hey."

"Hello. I'm Rover."

"Hey. Beagle."

"I've heard about you. You're in big trouble. Everyone's looking for you."

"Yeah. You want to get out of here?"

"I don't know. I'm supposed to be resting and then get some rock samples."

"Rock samples are for sissies. Come on. Let's go listen to "The Dark Side of the Moon" and make out."

Rover giggled and blushed. She considered for a moment and felt bad, thinking about everyone back on Earth who was counting on her, raising a glass of champagne to her. Then she realized that maybe it was time to do something fun for herself.

So they ran off together because really, other than in fairy tales, how often do two American robots meet and fall in love on Mars?

And don't worry about Rover's and Beagles' parents. Rover's folks sent up her nerdy, overachieving brother, Opportunity, who would tattle on them and call back home and tell ALL about Mars and the goings-on there.