June
11, 2003
Today is the day to slap your knee.
Rank: Ways of Bathing
- Giant bathtub/swimming pool, a la Frances from "Pee Wee’s Big
Adventure." I have an obsession with owning my own swimming pool, and
I think that bathing in a gigantor swimming pool with huge toy boats (and
Pee Wee!) would make bathtime so much fun. Downsides: It’s pretty hard
to come by.
- The sprinkler. This is about the only thing I miss about childhood. Downsides:
The wet grass that sticks to you; those shicka-shicka-shicka sprinklers
shoot an almost painfully hard spray; as an adult, it’s hard to look
normal doing this.
- The hot shower: Do we really need to say any more? Especially if you have
some good smelling shampoo or soap and a nice big clean towel. Downsides:
Have you ever been cold, taken a hot shower, and then, standing around in
the steamy bathroom, gotten all hot and sweaty? I hate that.
- The cool shower: This is almost as good. If there’s a hot day, or
maybe your hot shower just got a little too hot, you turn the temperature
down about 10 or 20 degrees and you feel like you’re bathing in a waterfall.
Mmm. Downsides: Often affiliated with the shameful act of ‘needing
a cold shower.’
- The bath. Surprised? Well, not all girls love the bathtub. It’s hard
to get the temperature exactly right, and once you do, five minutes later
you’re either freezing or sweating. It’s nearly impossible (for
me) not to drop the bottom of my magazine or book in it. It’s too much
effort, getting together your candles, bath bomb, music, what have you,
and if you don’t get all that stuff together, what’s really the
point of the bath? You could be in the shower, which is really much faster
and involves less sitting in your own filth. Also, rumor has it (although
I don’t know anything about this) is that once you get in the bathtub,
you always have to go to the bathroom, even if you just did it. Downsides:
I forgot to mention that you get water on the floor and cleaning up after
yourself is gross.
- Being sprayed with a cold hose.