February 24, 2003

Today is the day to get it on, bang a gong, and get it on again.

I'm a talkative young lady sometimes, and as happens with talkative people, I tend to put my foot in my mouth from time to time.

Case in point:

Several years ago, I was with some friends at a wine bar, which was kind of silly because we had aleady been drinking wine, and drinking even more wine was not really necessary. Anyway, a young lady and I, our tongues loosened by that nectar of Dionysus, began discussing one of the oldest topics of all time: whether or not Dave Matthews looks retarded. (in vino veritas, no?)

"Yes, he looks sort of like he has Down Syndrome," I said.

And then, of course, it happened.

A young man in our group turned around and said, "I have a cousin with Down Syndrome, and I don't think that's very funny."

I was, of course, upset that I had offended somebody without intending to, but I was just inebriated enough to try to defend myself.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, "But I wasn't making fun of people with Down Syndrome. I was merely saying that there is a certain way that they look due to a certain genome thingy, I can't remember the name of it..."

But when you've been drinking, this tends to come out as: "Bleeaaaarrgggh Down Syndrome look Gaarrggghh."

(For the record, I believe that the name of the 'genome thingy' is trisomy 21, but I could be wrong.)

So anyway, the point is, I put my foot in my mouth and insulted this guy big time, and probably only did so moreso with my attempts to clarify.

And then I knocked over a bunch of wine glasses onto the floor, but that has nothing to do with nothing.

So, anyway, now to you. Do you have a story where you put your foot in your mouth? Accidentally insulted somebody beyond repair? Asked a fat women when she was due? Accidentally asked a fat man when he was due? Come on, we've all been there. Make me feel better and tell me about the time you opened your big mouth a little too wide.

Oh, and, unlike my "Made-Up Holidays" entry, I swear to god that this time I won't lose the entry. I have new scientific technology promising that this won't happen again.