January 27, 2003

Today is the day to be sad that the party's over.

Zulkey.com is back and sighing that not every day can be a fabulous literary event like Bookhouse Rock. Also, sighing because I didn't get to watch one iota of the Super Bowl. However, if you are still hankering for a touch of Superbowl afterglow, check out this wonderful girly collection of musings on said sporting event, including input of my own and Lindsay Roberton's, on The Black Table. You remember the Black Table, don't you?

Review of Bookhouse Rock, Less Than Halfheartedly Written in the Style of a Page Six Columnist

Not a single ugly person was in sight for THE hot ticket in town Friday: So New Media’s Book House Rock. The lovely girls at the Escapist bookstore, Julianna and Elana, proved gracious hostesses, as Shiner Bock flowed freely.

The event began with the man and the face behind So New Media: Ben Brown himself. Replete with blue-and-black hair and earrings, nose ring and labret pierching, Mr.
Brown read to us from his forthcoming TV! TV! novel, making us think and laugh about the plight of the truly fat in this country.

Then came our first musical break, featuring the folk rock of Jim Roll, one of Amazon.com's Rock Editors' Top 10 2002, along with the likes of Wilco and Elvis Costello . Despite his claim that the ‘humor will resume’ after his playing (those of you who enjoy the musical stylings of any combination thereof of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young will fancy his tuneage) , Mr. Roll provided excellent between-song banter that only the masters can achieve.

Following Mr. Roll came a very nervous Claire Zulkey, reading her pieces Slut, Whore or Lame-O? and The
Rules, II . She did okay, but she was wearing a ridiculous black shirt that looked okay when she put it on before the reading, but looked silly when she re-watched the show on video. She also forgot to plug her own upcoming book,
resulting in some awkward on-stage banter that ended with her trying to lead a chant of "Zul-key! Zul-key!" and promising a tap-dance routine with none other than…

Austin’s/Phoenix’s/Phildelphia’s/Chicago’s own Neal Pollack, there to promote his new book Beneath the Axis of Evil (check it out, kiddies; this reporter thinks it’s even funnier than The Neal Pollack Anthology), as he made the audience laugh and think about the state of this planet we call Earth.

Then followed the rocking tunes of The Yuppie Pricks, featured this month in GQ. Resplendent in their 1980’s prick outfits and rocking hard, this reporter found Deuce to be the cutest (but you’ll have to decide for yourself.) Their song "Coke Party" is a must for any party, coke party or otherwise.

Finally, the night was closed with a performance that rocked with a cruel efficiency rarely seen on this continent by The Neal Pollack Invasion, featuring Mr. Pollack on vocals, Mr. Roll on guitar, Dakota Smith on other guitar, and
some shirtless young man drinking a 40-oz. Schlitz on the drums. There is a reason why Mr. Pollack is the World’s Greatest Living Author: he tore up a copy of Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections onstage as he
sang "I wipe my ass with your novel."

The night was then capped by an exclusive VIP party at Mr. Brown’s house, featuring more beer, a hot tub, naked teenagers and a birthday cake for Mr. Brown’s 30th birthday (although some claim he was only turning 25.)

But before the evening dissolved into general non-literary-related merriment, an enthused audience helped Mr. Pollack partake in shredding literature. A participant passed on a mostly-destroyed copy of The Corrections onto a petite brunette and encouraged, "Go ahead, rip it up." She clutched it to her bosom, proclaimed "I don’t think ruining books is right," and fled the scene.

ONLY IN AUSTIN, KIDS, ONLY IN AUSTIN.