October 17, 2002

Today is the day to get a non-polish manicure

Your Next Assignment

Okay, boys and girls. I'm working on a leetle Zulkey.com project and I need you to help me out. If you so choose. If you don't, this web page will self-destruct in five seconds.

(Just kidding, it won't. Didn't mean to scare you there! Take a minute to calm down before continuing on.)

Anyway (ha, ha! whew.), as you may know, every Friday or so I do an interview with an acquaintance of mine. It's all part of my quest to avoid actually writing something for my site.

Sometimes I write basic, getting-to-know-you-questions like:
You are the cofounder of Moonshinestill. Tell us about it, and why we should be interested in it.

Sometimes I ask 'inside info' questions like:
One Christmas, when you were about six, you opted to open your presents in your room, as opposed to around the Christmas tree, and then not tell anybody what you received. Why did you do this, and do you think that possibly this would be a good tradition for all families to begin?

Sometimes I ask inside-jokey questions:
If we may say so, you have a very nice butt: you must be into physical fitness. What are some of your tricks to stay motivated for exercise?

Sometimes I ask self-centered questions such as:
Claire Zulkey has been present at your baptism, confirmation, and quite possibly will be at your wedding. Claire Zulkey is thus part of Catholic Church's three catechismal marks on your soul. Don't you think that means you should be nicer to her?

Sometimes I ask literary-type questions:
Who is the best character you’ve invented of late?

And sometimes I ask questions that really make no sense at all, out of context:
You and Eminem have something in common: you've both pissed off Moby. Tell us about your experience?

Do you like these questions? Hate them? Think you could do a better job?

I don't doubt it if you do.

So show me! Please send me some questions that you would think would be necessary for any interview, with whomever. They can be about personal background, which flavor Life Saver is their favorite, or what their thoughts are on feminism.

Regardless of the interviewee, what do you think are good questions?

Send me no less than one (yes, ordering you around will make you contibute), but no more than three, if you can. I'll give you a week. Maybe longer, if turnout isn't good.

You'll see what it's for. I won't tell you now. Don't get too excited, though.

Oh, and one thing: this project will not involve credit, so if you have a question that you think is so fantastic that you should have your name attached to it, save that for a special occasion.

By the way, you're going to love tomorrow's interview.