August 20, 2002

Today is the day to hang ten, dude.

EXTRA, EXTRA! Before commencing any further today, I would like to point out a GLARING ERROR in yesterday's entry. I was incorrect. I have been in Los Angeles before. It was 1984. I can't believe I didn't remember. Not only that, but my parents were KIND enough to take me there to visit my FIRST BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, a girl named Jordan Barry. Many thanks to MY MOTHER for pointing it out. I encourage you to email her if you have further questions on the subject, or anything else on which you feel I may be incorrect..

Awards Given During the Teen Choice Awards That, Frankly, I Disagree With
yes, I know that is a dangling participle. were these the oscars, I would fix it

Choice Movie Actor, Action Adventure -- Tobey Maguire (Should have been The Rock in "The Scorpion King")

Choice Movie Actor, Comedy -- Chris Tucker (Obviously should have been Barry Watson in "Sorority Boys")

Choice TV Comedy -- Friends (should have been The Bernie Mac Show)

Choice TV Reality Show -- The Osbournes (clearly should have been American Idol)

Choice Female Artist -- Britney Spears (Alicia Keys)

Choice Male Artist -- Ja Rule (Give it to me now: It should have been Ludacris)

Choice Love Song -- "U Got It Bad" (Should have been *N Sync, even if they weren't nominated)

Choice R&B/Hip-Hop/Rap Single -- "Ain't It Funny" (*N Sync Again)

Choice Hook Up -- "Girlfriend" (*N Sync...oh, no, wait, they won that one. Never mind.)

Choice Song of the Summer -- "Hot in Herre" (No. Anything by *NSync will do.)

Choice Male Athlete -- Kobe Bryant (should have been Apolo Anton Ohno)