April 17, 2002

Today is the day to smell what the Rock is cooking,.

Friday you'd best be here. You'll see.

I watched "The Scorpion King" last night, thanks to my fine friend Nathan Rabin, who has no idea how often his name appears on this site because he doesn't check it. But perhaps ignorance is bliss, no?

But here's something you definitely should see. This crazy website, "Lost in Translation", takes regular English, translates it into a bunch of languages, and then translates it back again, called "babelizing". The results are astounding. For instance, here is a nice piece of commentary I received from my frirend Tracy, (ostensibly) in real English:

"Claire, I just want you to know that your website
makes me laugh out loud every day. I've been a little illin' (not like a villain) so it's been a funny sight to see: me, sitting at a computer and laughing out loud, snot pouring down my face, and then all of a sudden break into a fit of coughing. Am I eighty years old or what?"

Now, check it out in translation: I think it makes even less sense, but I might be going out on a limb here:

"Claire, desire, rectum this sapete that website decrease/go you support, the end reírme giornalmente of the extremity he outside all. I age illin small, ' (not like gangster) therefore, that a visa contents is extreme he to consider it: Levandosi of I, in the feet with an extremity of the risata the external part and the calculation, of if snot in lowest superficial he is spilled, my unexpected and then face with which it finishes in a writing of the cough. I have eighty years, or that one?"

Now, even better, read Meghan Haynes' account of my birthday bash on Monday night:

"Can I just say, as a premier attendant of Claire's B-Day Bash, that it was all that...jammin' on the one! Despite almost having to fight Claire Weingarden for trying to leave with my stallion lover Barry Bostwick (whom I fell in love with while watching his stellar performance in "Hawaii Five-O: The Year of the Horse"), the party brought thrills and excitement, especially when Claire shed a single tear a la' Denzel in "Glory" as Liza and Michael Jackson serenaded her with
the timeless Stevie Wonder version of "Happy Birthday"...at this very moment, chills race down my spine!

I hope Claire enjoys the Elsa Peretti PADOVA magnifying glass I purchased for her from Tiffany & Co: she can use it to set those pesky stinging bees on fire avec sunlight before they sting her, thus causing use of the Epi-Pen...see how considerate I am? Oprah and I thought it was the perfect
gift (we went in on it together), as she had distributed tons of them during her "Favorite Things" episodes...okay, quiet is kept, we didn't pay for the magnifying glass, we just took it from a guest bag, but DON'T TELL CLAIRE.

Beyond these tawdry details, the music was great: *N'SYNC rocked the house, and Darren Henson made a special guest appearance! I was so impressed at his pop-n-lock routine where he twisted and contorted his body to spell
Claire's name...she's truly one lucky chick. The only damper to the evening was when Halle Berry showed up in my dress (style stealing heifer!), but I looked better, considering no one could turn their eyes away from the unsightly pirate patch over her eye (be careful, Bond Girl)!

Alas, I've said enough...no one parties like Ms. Z (big shout outs to DJ Croquet as well.)"

And now, Babelized:

"Then legend the right, like employee of prime minister of the effect of the b-day of Claire, who was very he... jammin ' in this! In spite of the wine of Claire who must the fight of the protections, the end almost to try, with the mines to go loving to the interior of Barry Bostwick (of the champion had fallen in the lover when they observe stellar the execution relative to in "Hawaii the five or: The year of Horse"), the obtained part of tremito one and the enthusiasm, special if "Glory" of Denzel of the simple rupture flows inside of Claire '; then Liza and Michael serenaded Jackson he with the version, timeless comes from the miracle of Stevie I gave to Birthday" "Happy;... this same time, the subsystem of the memory of the mass in the surface under possible of my thorn refreshes more outside! I hope that slow present modernities of Claire of the explosion of Elsa Peretti PADOVA, that one purchase for her & of Tiffany; Co: regolar it can he before the beginning, in the order these bees, of that those cuisantes, that one is in the light of the day with the fire pesky, that puncture he, this fact, that the use of the ear includes on the other hand feather/spring..., care, of which they are the careful ones indicate to me? Oprah and I thought about which was the perfect gift (we were for the interior of
the lateral totality outpost), because it had distributed the tons to them during "Favorite relative Things" one arrests the
episodes and correct the calm one..., had not paid to them nonslow of the explosion, averli dispositive he of the bullonatura of the right of a purse of the main computer, but TO LEAVE united CLAIRE of the states who does not stop the LEGEND. Beyond the east he details, this tawdry is, music was great: * The synchronization did not oscillate
the house and Darren Henson gave the form to a special function of the main computer! They had been used therefore to sottoprogramma relative of the device of the bullonatura of the jump, where the relative body has the ruotato and contorted, around to the name of Claire for ortografare of or..., which a lucky Kueken is true. He appeared only the choc-absorbent one with the night it was, when the
bay of the market of the dressed mine (he génisse he of the model of Moscow), but did not consider better, in the consideration somebody its eyes in the left that the returns could the ugly connection of the Piraten in the relative eye (it was the careful girl and in slavery)! The sections, I said... the some sufficient pieces that sig.ra Z (great escapes of the shout the DJ Croquet in more.)"

Makes it sound even more fun, doesnt it?