On Facebook I saw a little meme that told mothers to ask the following questions of their kids, with no hinting or leading, and to record the answers faithfully (which I did, aside from transcribing every single "Ennn...I dunno!" before each answer.) All I can say is: this kid really gets me.

1. What is something mommy always says to you?
"Yes"

2. What makes mommy happy?
Take a nap and go to bed.

3. What makes mommy sad?
Cry.

4. How does mommy make you laugh?
Read a book.

5. What was mommy like as a child?
Rocking chair.

6. How old is mommy?
2

7. How tall is mommy?
Like this. [touches top of head]

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Have a crossing garden. [crossing guard].

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Have a stop sign. [said while looking at stop sign in the newspaper]

10. If mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Eat.

11. What is mommy really good at?
Tree.

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Car.

13. What does mommy do for a job?
The computer.

14.What is mommy's favorite food?
Nutella.

15.What makes you proud of your mom?
Nutella.

16. If your mom were a character, who would she be?
People.

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Play.

18. How are you and your mom the same?
[unintelligible.]

What?
[unintelligible.]

Say that one more time.
[unintelligible.]

19. Okay, moving on. How are you and mommy different?
Don't say it.

20. How do you know mommy loves you?
Play.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
A string. A kite.

22. Where is mommy's favorite place to go?
In the dump truck.

23. How old was your mom when you were born?
Drink water.