I really like it too, though, because it's quietly subversive. Yeah, it's pink and there's cake on it, but there are cigarette butts strewn across the back. It evokes drama -- clearly, something happened. There's wit to it. It's clear that the book is not going to tell the story of some perfect woman who's done everything right her whole life, and I like that. I think covers that represent imperfect humans (because we are all imperfect) and stories that portray the messes we get into and out of in life thoughtfullly are so much more valuable and empowering than holding up some ideal that we're supposed to meet. 

People may think different things about the cover, and charge the book with not being fluffy and chick-lit-y enough, or for the opposite, because we all come to books with our presumptions and expectations. But I think the cover and what's inside work together well, and I think that, as with weddings, books often deserve a second look to get beyond our preconceived ideas and into what's real. 

I am curious about your general observations of weddings due to your large sample size. You must have figured out, over time, what works and what doesn't (and what simply cannot be made "unique.") To that point, what do you think is typically the best/useful favors couples give away at weddings?
Honestly, I think favors are the most pointless things. I don't need to take home whatever it is, no matter how adorable, some item that will just sit in my closet or stashed away in a drawer because I feel bad throwing it away because it came from a good friend's wedding. It makes me sad! I say save yourself the time and energy and money, brides and grooms, and don't give me a favor. The favor you gave me is your invitation (and the open bar) and that is plenty. Or, I mean, if the wedding is local, you could pass along your flowers to the guests, I suppose, if they need a home, and that might be nice. But really, no need for favors.

How have you observed the general tone or feel of weddings of more mature couples (mid-to-late thirties and up) as opposed to those who got married during their early-to-mid twenties?
There is often both a kind of casualness to the weddings of those who marry later at the same time that there's a great respect and appreciation for the event that marks finally finding each other. Couples who get married later, maybe, no longer just assume it's going to happen, and have experienced a lot of life before they got to where they are, so there's just a bit more of a nuanced perspective. Couples who get married young, though, those weddings seem full of possibility, representing two people who are ready to jump right in together into life and whatever happens next. Both can be lovely and beautiful and inspiring.

When you've attended ceremonies in religions other than your own, which have stood out to you as a faith that you found beautiful or intriguing?
I have attended a lot of weddings that have been interfaith, and often also interracial. I don't think it's one particular faith that I find so intriguing as the sense that now, in contemporary America, these sorts of marriages (and same-sex marriages, too), are possible and increasingly approved of. That is beautiful and if not intriguing, has certainly been a long time coming, and should only continue.

Wedding satellite events (morning-of breakfast, morning-after brunch, etc): nice touch or social overkill?
Optional satellite events (especially if people are traveling, because, you know, feed them and maximize their time with you), I'm totally on board for. Mandatory ones, not so much. No one really wants to be hungover staring at runny eggs in front of the bride's parents at 8 a.m. the day after a wedding.

What's the first cocktail you usually grab at a wedding?
White wine, always the white wine. I am predictable to a fault, sometimes.

I know you floated your book by some of the brides you write about: what responses have you gotten, if any, from people mentioned in the book since it's come out?
All of the responses I've gotten from people I know, including those mentioned in the book, have been really positive, even in some cases when I was quite anxious about the opposite. (So far, knock on wood, etc. etc.) I didn't set out to hurt anyone in writing this book, but I knew I needed to be honest about things that happened, even if they were uncomfortable, because these sorts of things -- friendships dissolving, breakups, fights, excessive drunkenness -- happen to all or almost all of us as we grow up. But I think the fact that I am pretty hard on myself probably mitigates awkwardness others may have felt at being mentioned. Also, I changed names, and also... most of their weddings were actually pretty great. One ex boyfriend, for the record, was super excited to be in the book.

Female friendships frequently get tested wedding time--especially if you're in the wedding, you're at once demonstrating your closeness to the bride while at the same time saying goodbye to her to some extent. As life moves forward, there is frequently tension when women either coldly cut ties to friends with whom they share little in common, or, on the other end of it, struggle to keep relationships alive perhaps past their expiration date. Have you observed how women can either skirt or address tension when weddings start highlighting cracks in a relationship? Other than just be men?
This is clearly something that's mattered a lot to me, and part of why I wrote the book. I haven't been able, in my history of wedding-going, particularly in the early years, to skirt the issues or tensions very well. Instead I'd suppress and then drink and hit them head on. Later I learned that you can separate yourself a little more, you can take a longer-view, you don't have to love your best friends' marital choices, and that everyone's just doing life the best way they can. But, you know, even now it's hard to remain close friends with someone who marries someone you think is terrible for them. My suggestion for people who are going through this with a friend is to be kind and try to be honest (but don't bring this all up at the wedding itself) about what you're feeling and why. Have a real heart-to-heart, and see where your friendship is, and if you should in fact be going to the wedding. Similarly, the friend who marries should be up front, I think, instead of pretending everything is suddenly hunky-dory and perfect with the arrival of a wedding ring ("Yeah, I know Bob and I used to fight like cats and dogs and he smells like a hamster cage, but we've talked about everything and I love him and he loves me and this is what I'm doing"). Above all, I really hate pretending, and a wedding that feels like a charade still gets me in a knot. 

Another thing that's kind of made me feel wistfully better is to realize that while you should value each and every friendship, some of them just aren't meant to last forever, and that's OK. 

Generally speaking, you could write a book about weddings because you've been to many weddings. If that system applied to another hypothetical book project, what's something else that you have a lot of experience in that you could write another memoir about?
Well, you know, the great Rosie Schaap did this with bars, so that's out. I think it's fascinating to look at life through the lens of one particular thing like this, though, especially something that has a broad ecosystem and brings lots of people together. (I also am pondering a book about this which I don't want to give away, so maybe I'll just say I have a lot of experience living in different apartments, going to different gyms, and sleeping in different beds, but none of those are my book idea.) The beds one could be good though, no?

Switching from the book to your more general writing career, what are one or two YA books you'd love to encourage everyone to read that they probably haven't heard of? Read, read, read, Nina La Cour's latest, Everything Leads to You, which I devoured in two nights, and E. Lockhart's We Were Liars, which is a stunner. And also read Huntley Fitzpatrick's What I Thought Was True and Emery Lord's Open Road Summer, because they are perfect summer reads. You asked for two and I gave you four and I could go on but I won't...

What is your typical process for preparing for interviews (when you are the interviewer?) I read everything pertinent that I have time for (difficult when one is full-time blogging, which I'm not anymore) about the subject and compile questions that I think will generate good conversation, because I like to have a little bit of a structure for what I'm asking in my mind, and as backup -- I like to know what I very broadly need to cover. And then I get on the phone with the person and ask and listen and let the conversation go where it will, taking tons of notes as fast as I can. (I have a fear of recorders not working, though they have not yet failed me.)

What was the last dream you had that you remember? Two recent nightmares of note: In one, before my book came out, I was trying to pull a tank top off a cat. It was difficult, and very stressful, and I'm sure this means something. After the book came out I dreamed that I got a really bad review, the only thing I could remember about which was that the reviewer said my book was "damp." Maybe from jumping in a pool after doing tequila shots at a wedding. "This book was too damp!", imagine that horror! So far I have not gotten that review in real life, thankfully, though there are some calls on Amazon and Goodreads for me to dry out, so... Subconscious, she's always working.

How does it feel to be the 388th person interviewed for Zulkey.com? Really good! Actually, fantastic. Thank you for asking so many great questions. I hope whoever comes after me is ready for your high-quality interrogative skills.