Super Bowl Club

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Hey! I'm back covering Idol for the AV Club.

And now I'd like to complain about these stupid Visa commercials featuring the "Super Bowl Club," men who have allegedly never not-attended a Super Bowl, not for 44 years or whatever. One of them brags about how he's missed birthdays, graduations, weddings to attend the Super Bowl (what kind of school graduates in February?)

This commercial annoys me because I don't think attending every single Super Bowl is something you should be proud of.

First, obviously, the one dude is basically bragging about being a horrible dad/friend/husband/son whatever. "Daddy, will you walk me down the aisle?" "NO! I'm going to the Super Bowl. Leave me alone!"

Also, I think there is something...not right about a person who is willing to attend a football game without caring who's playing. I have a hard time getting into any sporting event where I'm not invested either in loving or hating one of the teams (and I have a hard time even being a bandwagon-jumper: I tried watching the Northwestern bowl game this year but realized I had no idea who any of the players were. And they lost anyway). It's strange to be so dedicated to attending one long game where you have a very good chance of not having a relation to either team.

Because it can't be that attending the Super Bowl is THAT fun. I've been to the All-Star game and after all the hoopla, it's just a long-ass game thanks to all the commercial breaks. I bet the Super Bowl's beginning is fun and the Halftime Show is fun but the rest of it is just a long football game. Even when the Bears were in the Super Bowl I felt bad for my friends who were there, since it was like a four hour game thanks to commercials and it was raining and we lost.

I'd like to posit anyway that watching football at home is better than live, but football is not my number one sport, so I know that is a matter of taste. There's just so much down time in the game, I prefer to spend it at home on my couch, getting a drink, instead of sitting in your seat reading trivia on the scoreboard or whatever.

Also, is it really a "club"? Like do these guys really know each other? Or is it a "club" the way my office is a "club," people who are merely regularly in proximity of each other?

So, in sum, I think that if attending every single Super Bowl is something you've aspired to, well then you deserve nothing but banishment to the woods. No, I don't know, it's just weird.

Finally, I don't think the Super Bowl Club is something worthy of Morgan Freeman to announce. He's God.