Typical Scenes from "The Rachel Zoe Project"

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Scene: the workroom. BRAD calls RACHEL.

Brad: Rachel

Rachel: Brad.

Brad: We only have an hour with Anne Hathaway to try on her Oscar gown.

Rachel: Shut up.

Brad: I know.

They remain on the phone, silent, for three hours.

***


Scene: Anne Hathaway is trying on a beautiful ball gown in the office.

Rachel: GASP

Brad: I know.

Rachel: Shut up.

They all eat four cheeseburgers each.

***

Scene: Rachel's office.

Rachel: Brad. I mean it this time. I've literally come undone.

Brad: I know.

Rachel unzips a zipper running down the front of her body and steps out of her own skin.

***

Scene: Brad and Rachel are talking about Anne Hathaway's Oscar dresses

Rachel: She's literally going to knock it out of the park.

Later that day: with two outs and Hugh Jackman on the mound, Anne Hathaway hits a late-game grand slam to win the Academy Awards.

***

Scene: Rachel's house. Rachel, Brad and Taylor are watching the Oscars and see Anne Hathaway on the screen.

Rachel: Oh my god. I die.

She lays down in her crypt, crosses her hands over her chest and drifts off into eternal slumber.

***
Scene: A grocery store.

Rachel: That is bananas.

(She points to some bananas.)

Brad: Uh, don't you mean "Those ARE bananas?"

Rachel: You've got such a Braditude, Brad!

Taylor: I don't get why you love Brad so much and I've been working here longer than he has.

Rachel: Oh Tay! It's because you're fat.

They all laugh, pull on their masks and rob the grocery store a gunpoint, killing three people and escaping with $300 in cash and $100 in bananas.

***


Scene: Rachel and Rodger's bedroom.

Rachel: Babe, I'm so stressed out.

Rodger: I know, babe.

Rachel: Why is there a d in your name, babe?

Rodger: I don't know, babe. Why do you wear those weird floppy knit hats so much lately?

Rachel: Babe!

***

Scene: The office

Taylor scowls, because her extremely flammable hair finally caught on fire.

"The Rachel Zoe Project"">
"The Rachel Zoe Project"">