Wedding Customs

An e-buddy sent me a link to these strange wedding customs so I thought I'd see which might work well for me this weekend:

Blackening the Bride: "In the Scottish pre-wedding tradition of "Blackening the Bride," The bride is taken by surprise and covered with foul substances, such as eggs, various sauces, feathers, and well you name it...
The bride to be, officially blackened, is the then paraded around town, and of course a few pubs, for all to see."
WOULD I DO IT? I would totally do this any day other than the day I'm wearing an expensive gown I'll only get to wear once. Maybe on my birthday.

Broken Dishes: "A rather interesting German tradition involves shattering a large number of dishes before the wedding and having the bride and groom cleaned it up."
WOULD I DO IT? No. Steve and I have enough broken dishes to clean up every day thanks to our violent arguments, but not on my "special day."

Kidnapping the Bride: "In many small villages throughout Germany, friends of the bride and groom will kidnap the bride and hide her somewhere.The groom then has to search to find her. Of course the search always begins in the local pub, for obvious reasons, where the groom will invite everyone to join him in the search, after buying them all a drink."
WOULD I DO IT? Only if I got to drink while everyone else was looking for me.

Log Sawing: "Log sawing is just another tradition that seems to really test the bride and grooms physical skills. After the couple are married, a log is positioned between two sawhorses where both the newlyweds must saw in half working together."
WOULD I DO IT? I don't know. I'm not really into the idea of a lot of strenuous activity that day. Then again, I have been working out more than usual so that would be the day I could really get a log sawed.

Mehndi: "Indian weddings, which are traditionally multi-day affairs, involve many intricate ceremonies, such as "medhndi", the practice of painting intricate patterns on the bride's hands and feet."
WOULD I DO IT? Yes! I actually wanted to do this earlier this summer so I'd be decorated for somebody else's wedding. However the one thing that is stopping me is how I don't want my mother to murder me.

Stealing the Groom's Shoes: "It might seem odd, but in this custom everyone is either out to steal the groom's shoes or protect them. During the ceremony the groom has to remove his shoes prior to entering the alter to be married. Members of the bride's family are obligated to try to steal the grooms shoes and will go to great lengths to do so. The groom's family, on the other hand, must protect the shoes and they will also go to extreme measures in order to hide the shoes. If the bride's family is successful in stealing the groom's shoes, then the groom must pay whatever amount of money they request to get his shoes back."
WOULD I DO IT? No, but I would drink champagne and watch other people do it.

Coin Game: "The Coin Game occurs after the wedding festivities, when the bride and groom go to the groom's parents' house. Coins and other items are placed into a large bowl filled with red colored water tinted with sindoor. The newlyweds place both hands in the bowl in an attempt to retrieve a particular item. This is done repeatedly and the one who pulls out the most specified items is fated to be the ruler of their home."
WOULD I DO IT? No. I don't want to potentially surrender my current title as ruler of the home. And what is sindoor anyway?

Coins and Kissing the Guests: "An old, adorable Swedish custom is for the bride to carry coins in her shoes.
A silver coin from her father is placed in the left shoe, while a gold coin from her mother in the right shoe, ensuring she will never go without."
WOULD I DO IT? This is actually something I've read in wedding magazines and all I think is "Those coins would really irritate the shit out of me after a few minutes."

Guest Kissers: "At Swedish wedding receptions, guests may get an opportunity to kiss the bride or groom.
If the bride goes to the restroom, all of the women at the reception line up to kiss the groom. If the groom exits the room and is out of sight, the men line up to kiss the bride."
WOULD I DO IT? We're going to have almost 200 people at our wedding so this might take a while.

Clanging Pots and Pans: "The French have an interesting after-wedding tradition known as Chiverie.During this traditional prank, friends and family of the newly married couple gather in the evening and clang pots and pans, ring bells, and blow horns intended to startle and interrupt the couple. Upon hearing the noise, the newlyweds are to come out, still wearing their wedding attire, and provide their tormenters various refreshments."
WOULD I DO IT? No. This would be fun for us how?

Jumping the Broom: "African Americans embrace the "Jumping the broom" ritual. Its origin is a little vague, but its meaning is agreed as the beginning of the newlyweds creating their happy home. The "Jumping the Broom" is a ceremony in which the bride and groom, either at the ceremony or at the reception, signify their entrance into a new life and their creation of a new family by symbolically "sweeping away" their former single lives, former problems and concerns, and jumping over the broom to enter upon a new adventure as wife and husband. This "leap" into a new life (marriage as wife and husband is performed in the presence of families and friends. You can be as creative as you want when planning for this special ceremony."
WOULD I DO IT? No, because I don't think my African-American friends would find this terribly cute of us. And I would probably fall down. PS I don't know why this is included as a "weird" wedding custom and smashing a glass isn't but whatever, I'm just going to eat Christ's body and drink His blood and try not to think about strange customs.

Both Feet on the Floor: "In the old days of Ireland, couples dined on salt and oatmeal at the beginning of their reception: both the bride and groom would take three mouthfuls as a protection against the power of the evil eye. During the reception, when the couple is dancing, the brides feet must remain on the floor. It is said that Fairies love beautiful things and their favorite beautiful thing is a bride. If the bride was to have even one foot off the ground, then she could be swept away by the Fairies."
WOULD I DO IT? Hell yes. I've been kidnapped by Fairies once before and it's a bitch.