Thoughts I Had While Putting on Self-Tanner This Morning:

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I wonder why being tan feels kind of good. Magazines and doctors are always telling us how awful it is. But still.

It must be boring to write those same "don't tan!" articles all the time.

I wonder if, like, in the '70's, they had articles on how to get a really good tan. I bet they did. Did they? What were those like?

I wonder if they also had articles on how to smoke your way thin.

I wonder what I would call that magazine. "Old-Timey Unhealthy Ladies' Magazine"

What should I wear today?

I'm hungry.