"Bitch, the water I drink doesn't make a difference to you."

It makes a difference to me. So, young black children, that is why I, Matt Damon, am taking away your water bottles. Give it...here...you strong little...there. Did you not know that Ice Mountain makes a bottle that uses 20% less plastic? Shame on you. Go home to your parents and let them know that you are now living 'green' and to do so you must go buy new water.

Now, would you like me to tell you why it's totally awesome to only use three squares of toilet paper each time you go to the john? Hey, where are you going in my Prius?