Hitting the Classifieds

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I have to admit it: I always figured this writing and blogging thing was just a temporary stop on my career journey. We all have dreams, right? Those goals that we've had since childhood that we have to work our way up to? I know a lot of people our age are starting to give up hope on their fantasies, starting to settle for the life they already lead. I always figured that wouldn't be me. I'd never give up or sell out.

I guess I don't really think that I'm selling out per se, but I just have to face reality and admit that perhaps it's time for me to choose a career goal other than Wealthy Eccentric Aviator.

Trust me, I've put a lot of time and energy into this already. I've been saving my money, although honestly, I'm still not sure where the 'wealth' part was going to come in. There are so many wealthy bloggers but I'm just not one of them. But I was holding out hope--money could come in at any time.

And I've been honing my craziness. I considered storing urine in jars and growing my fingernails long but that's sort of been done already. I considered going the "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" route of clothes that I was clearly too old for and garish makeup and insane behavior and a refusal to let go of the past, but Britney Spears is already doing it so well. I thought about shoving some people off the El tracks in front of oncoming trains but I wanted to be the kind of crazy that people love, not the kind that people want to lock up. So I was still considering that. I had an idea about maybe walking around with exotic animals on leashes but that posed some logistical issues (mauling) plus there's that money thing again.

Meanwhile, I have yet to sign up for flying lessons. I've ridden in planes many a time, and looked at them, but haven't come close yet to flying one (unless you count sitting in the back seat of a six-seater plane which I actually sort of do.)

Why did I want to be a rich eccentric aviator? Well, who doesn't? You're rich, you're in the sky a lot, and if you do anything weird, people just chalk it up to you being a lovable, airborne goof. And really, my goal was to become the first eccentric wealthy avia-TRIX. Amelia Earhart was the only famous aviatrix but she's known more for being female and an aviator and being missing than being wealthy or crazy. I figured I'd find fame and fortune and adventure and maybe a few imaginary friends.

But I'm realizing that this career choice is just too dangerous. I'm not sure what it is, but being a sort of crazy person who can afford access to all kinds of aircraft just doesn't seem to end well for a lot of people. If you're disappearing in a mysterious way, or you're dying from self-imposed starvation, or maybe your crazy aerodynamic aluminum dirigible gets struck by lightning. I'm just getting too sensible for this kind of stuff. So I'm looking into becoming a good-looking passionate person with a need for speed, or maybe a sadly beautiful depressive poet type. Something like that.

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