I Wish We Had a Flood

Other cities across the country are being declared disaster areas due to flooding. Why can't it happen in Chicago? I would love to have a flood. Are you kidding me? If we had a flood I could go home to my parents' house and swim around in the basement like I've always wanted to. Don't you think that would be fun? If it flooded, my boyfriend could turn off his old car and the current could just carry the car down the street and then his car wouldn't overheat making us turn on the heat in the middle of the summer which is such a drag. Plus then if we were hot anyway we could just get in the water. If the car started getting swallowed up by the water that's OK because I've read so many times how you can escape a car that's sinking in water and it would be nice to see how well I'd do at that because I actually think I'd do OK (same with getting attacked by a shark or being in an avalanche.) If I wasn't in the car but stuck maybe in a rapidly rising river and was about to drown then I could be on the news when a helicopter lowered a ladder to me which would be like whee! when I climbed up. Maybe I'd even get to be on one of those stretchers that a helicopter lowers, those seem like they'd be cool to be on. I might even meet a really cute EMT guy. I haven't even been on a helicopter before. If Chicago flooded then we would be on the news on the other time instead of other cities--I'm so sick of hearing about other cities. If it REALLY flooded I'd be able to sit in my 12th floor apartment and watch things float by, like I'm at the aquarium, but I feel like that is somewhat unrealistic. I wish I had my own basement and I could put things I didn't want in it down there and then they'd get ruined by the water and finally I'd have a good excuse just to throw them out. At the very least if it flooded I'd get to hear things like how the Chicago River is "swollen" and that's how I really like my rivers: swollen.

I wish we had a flood.