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I first heard of today's interviewee on NPR, where she's been interviewed numerous times, including on "Fresh Air," about her books Crime Scenes and Armed & Dangerous: Memoirs of a Chicago Policewoman. After completing her maters and beginning a career in psychology, a bad economy forced her to pursue a career as a police therapist in the '80's--but ended up being put on patrol on Chicago's West Side, where the experiences provided her plenty of material for her current incarnation: writer.
The Gina Gallo Interview: Just Under Twenty Questions
Which television shows or movies (fictional) have you found most accurately represent what it's like to be a police officer?
I'd say any show that has a minimum of "Hollywood spin" and a reliable (and vocal) cop script consultant. Off the top, "Law & Order," "Third Watch" and the old "Barney Miller"
series have shown some aspects of what a cop's world is really like. I say this with reservation, because even what appears to be realistic to the civilian viewer can have cops groaning in frustration. That's because when network cop shows are written by civilians, the scripts become outsider interpretations, enhanced by 'artistic license' that the show creators feel is necessary to either glamorize the topic or entertain viewers. And even if the script material starts off being absolutely accurate (which almost NEVER happens,) it has to go through the scrutiny of the network 'chain of command' brass to get their recommendations for
changes, and final approval. That means that what might have started out as absolutely accurate can eventually become a sensationalized and/or fictional version of the original work that nobody recognizes.
An example: when the pilot script for my book was being written by a Hollywood screenwriter, I was assured that the original story (single working mother of two sons) would be maintained. Somewhere along the way, the studio decided to jazz up the characters and make a few plot twists to interest more of their 13-25 year-old viewer demographic. My character was changed to an early-20's party animal (never married, no kids, with an ongoing drug and/or alcohol problem that would be expanded in further episodes) and - oh yeah, a semi-slut who liked to parade around the policewomen's locker room wearing only a Frederick's of Hollywood thong - the better to display what was going to be a substantial tattoo on her butt. How's that for getting lost in translation?
The reality is that most of what cops do ISN'T very glamourous. Nothing exciting about being on a 12 hour stake-out, or having to wade through all the mountains of investigative procedures and paperwork that accompany any
case, and don't make for exciting TV depiction. Since the blood-and guts shoot-outs, high speed chases, etc. in a REAL cop's world are a lot less frequent, the Hollywood powers-that- be take the liberty of including things that will hold the viewer's attention, even if they're not very
accurate.
As far as the Barney Miller episodes go, that's the closest I've ever seen to absolute dead-on portrayal of cops' brand of humor. It's that kind of dark gallows' humor you can only develop in defense of all the shadows you traverse in a nightly duty tour. My first taste of this came on my second night of duty at the scene of a grisly 5-car accident. Body parts and
twisted wreckage everywhere, blood pooling on the street along with the leaking car fluids, and it's too horrendous to imagine. In the middle of all this, our sergeant neatly sidestepped a decapitated, horribly maimed body on the ground and said, "That reminds me. Today's lunch special at the diner is barbecued ribs."
I once saw Dennis Farina upbraid an offender on "Law and Order" for using the word 'cop,' saying that it was 'offensive.' Do police officers truly find it offensive or is it just as much a part of their vernacular as everyone else's?
Dennis Farina used to work in the Robbery Division of the CPD, so any Chicago cop who saw this episode must still be laughing. In real life, any cop who uttered a statement like this would not only get laughed out of the station, but be advised to pull his head out of his ass. We're cops, we
call each other cops, and there's nothing about the word that's offensive. (And since detectives are referred to as 'dicks'....I don't see why either phrase might be an issue.)
When did you first begin writing?
According to my mother, as soon as I could hold a pencil. After she died, I found boxes of 'early manuscripts' that she'd kept - some written in crayons, most smudged and crumpled, and the earliest one dated to when I was 5. Became a published author at age 7 (Highlights for Children
magazine). Still waiting for the fame, fortune, and obscenely large limo that should've immediately followed.
What's the hardest part about being a roller-skating waitress, one of your first jobs?
Finding a place to keep my tips. Our waitress outfits were basically bikinis with a tiny sarong at the hips to suggest the Polynesian theme. That translated as 3 triangles held together by strings and a large, knotted scarf - not a pocket in sight!
For the record, I never intended to be one of the skaters...it was the restaurant hostess gig I applied for. During the job interview, I told the manager I barely had the coordination or balance to walk under normal circumstances, much less manage wheels, and that it'd be disastrous to put me on skates. He told me falling was part of the job, and good for business. The trick was making sure I fell in somebody's lap instead of the floor.
Since the clientele was primarily military men, I found out just how lucrative being clumsy could be.The first time I fell (about 45 seconds into my first night on the job) it
was directly into a Marine's lap. And even though I'd spilled six drinks all over him, I still got a $20 tip. After that, I took a tumble on average of six to eight times a night.
Rank these stereotypical Chicago foods in order of preference: deep dish pizza. all-beef hot dog with all the fixings and Italian beef sandwich.
As a gesture of allegiance to my South Side roots, and for the purpose of educating anyone who's NOT from Chicago and has no clue about these things (are you listening, Left Coasters?) I'm going to be very specific about how
we get our eats on, Chicago style:
1. Stuffed (not deep-dish) spinach & mushroom pizza from Connie's. Thin-crust pizza from Eduardo's in Hyde Park.
2. Fat Johnnie's hot dogs. Accept no substitutes - in order to be absolutely authentic, it's got to be on a poppy-seed bun, topped with yellow mustard, green relish, chopped white onions, fresh tomato wedges, hot sport peppers and a long thin cucumber slice, sprinkled with celery salt.
3. Italian Beef sandwiches au jus from Taylor Street, NOT with tomato sauce, topped with grilled sweet peppers and enough hot giardiniera to make your sinuses spontaneously combust.
What do people on "the left coast" tend to think of Chicago when you tell them you're from there? I'm always curious about how the city is perceived by others.
I never need to tell anyone out here where I'm from - they know it as soon as I start talking. (the Chicago accent is unmistakable.)
Most Left Coasters seem to think Chicago is a big, gritty, impersonal city full of Type-A over-aggressive neanderthals who spend most of their days scratching their balls, popping a cold one and chanting 'Da Bears, Da Bulls, Da Hawks' while they huddle in sports bars. Their perception of the University of Chicago is some small local diploma factory, and assume that Northwestern U. has something to do with Canada since it's in the Northwest. Their concept of actual Chicagoans can probably be described in three categories: gangsters, bonehead jocks and overweight slobs.
A recent comment from a local about Chicago: "You know, I was in Chicago about a year ago on a business trip and I couldn't believe it -- the women actually ATE! We were having dinner at this one place where everyone was eating MEAT and - I couldn't believe it, there were all these women eating steaks! Like they ate their ENTIRE meals - can you imagine?"
Wow, dude. Women who eat real food. What a concept!
As a civilian author, have you heard from anyone who you had arrested?
No.
What can you tell us about the screen version of Armed and Dangerous?
Very little, since it hasn't reached the screen yet. The film option has been sold (to different networks) on two separate occasions. Each time, the pilot script was written by a studio screenwriter for what was supposed to become a TV series, and both times those scripts were an absolute departure
from the actual book. Neither project made it to the final cut, but I'm still hoping something positive will happen in the future.
Be truthful: did you ever have fun dressing up as a hooker when you were undercover? Or not so much?
Was I supposed to STOP dressing like that? Hmmm....somehow, I didn't get that memo.
Can I help it if I've found the wardrobe to be multi-tasking? (and de riguer as Left Coast fashion).Pardon me while I swat these hot pink maribou feathers out of my way.
It seems like nearly every female police officer I've seen on television has to pretend to be a prostitute at some point. Is this actually very common or are they just using it as an excuse to put women in slutty clothes?
No - that's just more Hollyweird hype. Female cops work in a variety of units and have a choice of what they choose to participate in. On the flip side, though, working as a decoy prostitute can be extremely amusing.....unless your back-up doesn't arrive in time. And in the real world, just as many male cops work as decoys -- they just don't look as cute in fishnets.
What are some of the plum beats in Chicago?
Depends on the individual cop. For those who want all the exciting, felony-arrest-every-three-seconds experience, they'll gravitate to the fast districts where homicides, narcotics and gun arrests are business du jour 24/7.
For those who prefer to be desk jockeys, a plum gig would be working at CPD HQ or- even better, at the Police Academy, where they'd work straight days, weekends and holidays off.
For the glamour cops (who believe they're just a screen-test away from being the next Dennis Farina) the way to go is working the Gold Coast (018th District.) Besides having beats that cover some of the most exclusive real
estate/money moguls in the city, there are all the nightclubs, hotels and over-the-top glitz to wade through on a nightly basis.
You discuss the hazing and hassles female police officers undergo. Have you seen what it's like for gay officers? Or are gay police officers not exactly typically out to their colleagues?
As in any other occupation, there are those individuals who prefer to keep their private lives private. At the same time, policing in the past fifteen years or so has changed enough that there are many "Out and Proud" gay cops, as well as departmental acknowledgement of their gay members in the form of employee organizations. In Chicago there's a specific unit that addresses the concerns of both the gay police population and gay civilian community, and active recruitment efforts are made by the Department that address the gay community.
The police community has evolved enough that they recognize what happens in someone's private life has nothing to do with the job. They understand that the only truth that matters in a cop's life is making it home alive at the end of your duty tour. Everything else is just interpretations.
Did you end up using a variety of firearms during your stint as a police officer? Which was your favorite and why?
Yes. Whichever one was convenient at the time. That's the real answer. No 'waxing poetic' gunslinger yapping about the virtues of high-tech state-of-the-art weaponry. Whatever
gun was there, worked the way it was supposed to and guaranteed that I'd see my kids at the end of the night was my favorite. I started with a Smith & Wesson .357 mag, went on to a Beretta 9 mm, and carried some auxiliary
weapons as well.
How did male police officers capitalize on your gender during domestic dispute calls?
It was a gender-to-gender play that was determined by which of the combatants were playing to us individually. Sometimes women are threatened by a female cop and prefer to appeal/flirt to the big strong male cop, just as there were plenty of men who think they can plead their case to the soft-touch female cop. We usually separated them by their demonstrated preference since it restored some level of calm more expediently. What they didn't realize until later, of course, was that the outcome would be the same, and one of them would be headed for jail.
Did you have to deal with any politics or hesitance on behalf of the CPD when you published Armed and Dangerous?
Yes. Period. End of sentence.
How much did your training as a psychologist help you on the beat?
I can't begin to describe how valuable it was and how well it served.(and saved my butt on more than a few occasions.) Having worked with such a wide variety of client populations as a therapist, stepping into their world as a cop was very much like, 'same thing, different uniform.'
If you were arrested in Chicago, which station would you most and least want to be taken to?
None and none.
What are you working on these days?
Finishing up the next book, also working on a collection of short stories.
How does it feel to be the 171st person interviewed for Zulkey.com?
I've enjoyed it. Next time you're in my neck of the Left Coast, let's do lunch. Something specific to the regional palate....maybe a tofu burger topped with organic mushrooms on some politically correct, gluten-free bun ("no weevils were slain to harvest this crop") followed by a refreshing chaser of wheat grass?
My mailing address is included: please ship some White Castle sliders immediately.
More interviews here!