Today is the day to subscribe to Cat Fancy magazine.

Chicagoans, looking for something to do in a couple of weeks?

Do you have to work on your annual personal review soon? You know, the one where you evaluate yourself because your boss doesn't feel like doing it for you? I commiserate. So send me the stupid catchphrases you have to use.

Finally, I have a short story on the brand-new site Ghotimag. If your first name is in it, I'm sorry; I'm not very creative.

Today's interviewee is the editor of the blog Defamer, which, if you consider yourself rather 'blog savvy,' is the West Coast brother to the the Gawker. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, that means it's a very funny site that tracks gossip and news pouring like so much vomitus from La-La Land. He used to have several identities but now there is only one. Also, he went to my college, so give it up for him.

The Mark Lisanti Interview: Slightly Less Than Twenty Questions

What made you decide to out yourself to Esquire?
Esquire wanted to interview me, and wondered if I'd be willing to do an outing as part of it. And since I'd gotten plenty of mileage out of the "shadowy mystery blogger" thing, I agreed.

Why did you decide to keep up Bunsen when you got the gig at Defamer?
At first, continuing to post at Bunsen was part of the Defamer subterfuge. (Don't I sound so adorably cloak and dagger?) But there were a lot of people that figured out that Bunsen went from an everyday thing to a twice a week thing at exactly the same time that Defamer launched. Bunsen is a labor of love, and I still feel lousy about the tumbleweeds blowing through there these days.

One of my favorite elements of Defamer is the blind item guessing game. Do you ever receive confirmation that any of the guesses are correct?
Are you trying to insinuate that the readers' guesses aren't correct? I'm a firm believer in the fact that collective intelligence is greater than individual intelligence. I like to think that if the consensus on an item is incorrect, the celebrity in question will obey the will of the people and go out and do the drugs or naughty sex thing everyone thinks they're already doing.

Have you gotten any legal threats?
Only ones of the patently hilarious variety.

Have there been any items that you couldn't post because you'd get in trouble?
Not really, unless you're count the story about Tom Cruise I spiked because someone from the Scientology Celebrity Centre threatened to castrate my brother.

What's the difference between A list and B list?
You mean you don't know? Time to get out of flyover country, Zulkey.

Is Lloyd Grove correct? Are you a failed writer?
By no fault of his own, he was correct. since I did the classic Hollywood move of failing upward from a crappy assistant job into a paid writing gig.

Defamer is the West Coast cousin to Gawker. How are materialism and inanity different in LA than in NY?
The materialist and inane in NY have to spend a lot more time in the Mystic Tanning booth.

What's a Hoya?
"Hoya Saxa," or "What rocks" in English" was the battle cry of the old-timey Georgetown football team. Being students of a fine Jesuit institution, they combined a Greek term and a Latin term to come up with the phrase. Therefore, a "Hoya" is technically a "what." (Falls asleep.)

Gossip predictions for 2005? Whose stars are going to rise and fall?
Paris Hilton's star is going to rise, then fall, rise, then fall, over and over again until either the tape in the camcorder runs out or her co-star decides he wants to change positions.

Have you received any feedback whether any of the 'who's who' in the entertainment biz follow Defamer?
I'll get the occasional second-hand report about how so-and-so reads the site, like the time I heard Michael Eisner has his second assistant sing him all of my posts about his problems at Disney.

Which seems to be more soul-sucking, writing film or TV scripts?
Both kinds of writing involving taking notes from dimwitted studio executives who think they know more about good stories than writers do. That's the most soul-sucking part of doing either kind of script. But they do replace that missing piece of soul with a lot of money. That really takes the sting out of it.

That said, are there any films or shows that you wish you'd written?
I wish I'd been a writer on the old Chris Elliott show Get a Life, and had come up with either of the episodes where he became a male model or a restaurant health inspector. Also, if Conan O'Brien ever comes calling, I'm ready to snuff out my family and get on the first plane to NY. I don't know what snuffing out my family has to do with writing for Conan. I've gotta ask my therapist about that.

Who are some people in Hollywood who you feel have actual talent?
There are many, many talented people in Hollywood. Most of them are fetching coffee and will move back to the East Coast within two years.

What's the worst job you've ever had?
When I was a PA, I had to take my boss's dogs to the groomer a couple of times. I didn't love that.

On a scale of 1-10, 1 being, uh, a celebrity who doesn't take himself seriously at all, and 10 being Tom Cruise how seriously should professional bloggers take themselves?
Can we go with a negative 5?

I still can't think of many celebrities who don't take themselves seriously. Can you?
Not a one. I think once you stop taking yourself seriously, they come by, kick you in the balls, and take away your SAG card.

How does it feel to be the 115th person interviewed for Zulkey.com?
Judging by how low on the food chain you dipped for your 115th interview, I can only assume that your next subject will be a guy who washes vegetables at Trader Joe's. But I feel incredibly honored to be your "jump the shark" moment.