July 26, 2002

Today is the day to re-invent the remix.

I forge new territory today--I interview not two, but three people simultaneously, and they are also the youngest interviewees thus far on Zulkey.com. Say hello to the Richards kids: Will, 8, Ann, 6 and Mike, 21 months, hailing from the Whitefish Bay area of Wisconsin. They loom large in my life, not just because they are the children of my cousin Mary and her husband Bill, but also because if it weren't for them, the youngest person at the kids' table at Zulkey gatherings would be 18. Many thanks to Mary for transcribing the interview.

The Richards Kids Interview: Slightly Less Than Twenty Questions (total)

Will, who do you like best, the Brewers, the Bucks or the Packers? Why?
The Bucks, definitely the Bucks! Because I've gone to way more of their games and because I like basketball.

Ann, you have a lot of American Girls stuff. What is your favorite doll or accessory?
My favorite doll is Kit and I also love the little kitties that [you] got me at our American Girl tea party.

Mike, what words do you know now?
"Da-da"; Ma-ma; "Ann"; baa-baa (bottle); "go-go-go-go-go-go" (from the World Cup spanish announcers); "mine"; "_at" (cat). In addition, I also comprehend the meaning of the word "no," but I refuse to obey or remotely demonstrate any willingness to comply with its intended meaning.

Will, how are you a good big brother to Ann and Mike?
I'm a good brother to Ann because I turn the TV on for her so that she can watch Power Puff girls. I'm a good brother to Mike because I watch him.

Ann, your Grandma Ginger has made some pretty cool costumes for you. Which one is your favorite?
Swooning princess, of course.

What's your favorite joke, Will?
Q: What do you call a snail on a ship?
A: A snailor.

Ann, do you have any favorite singers or performers that your Mom wishes you didn't like?
Britney Spears. My mom says she is a tramp.

Mike, what's your favorite food?
When I can't dine upon the cat food, I generally prefer chocolate chip cookies.

Will, what's your favorite subject in school?
Math, because I like it and I'm good at it.

Ann, what's the best part about being the only girl Richards kid?
Not having to share my Barbies.

Mike, what's your favorite TV show or movie right now?
As a discriminating viewer, I tend to prefer any venue that features Elmo.

Will, you recently had your First Holy Communion. What was that like?
It was really scary. I was really nervous that I'd trip.

Ann, what do you want to be when you grow up?
A teacher or an artist.

Mike, what's your favorite song?
I tend to waffle between "The Voice" by the Moody Blues and the "ABC" song.

Will, what do you like best about your mom? Your Dad?
Hmmmmm. She's beautiful and nice. He's nice.

Ann, what's your favorite game to play at parties?
Hitting a pinata.

Mike, what are your thoughts on how the economy is doing?
Frankly, I'm terrified, very terrified. I think being heavily invested in anything tech-related is nonsensical. Also, the insurance industry is in a tailspin. I think the smart investments are in the mid-caps and non-market holdings such as real estate. Finally, with having older parents who will likely blow my inheritance on such luxury-items as food and a decent nursing home, I'm also trying to sock away some money in long-term investments such as Treasury notes and bonds.

Will, Ann, and Mike, how does it feel to be the first kids interviewed for Zulkey.com?
Kind of weird, flattered, and a bit overwhelming.