ESSAY/OPINION
it's back!
Aiportlive:
"Turkey in Terminal Two"
The Black Table:
Waxing Off: Girls on the Sunny Season
Incoming! Week of April 25, 2005
Incoming! (Week of June 21, 2004)
Waxing Off: What Women Wish You'd Wear
Rooting for the Underdog: Waxing off on Unconventionally Hot Men
Review: Handling Your Own Reviews on Amazon.com
Review: The Paris Hilton Video
Waxing Off: I Don't Fear the Reaper. (Oh wait, that's a lie)
Review: Celebrities Uncensored
Review: The Paris Hilton Video
"Black List: Tom's of Maine Deodorant"
"We Want Matt Hooker For Governor of California!"
"Waxing Off: Hot for Teacher"
"The Black List: Brownie Bites and the UPS Store Signage"
"The Black List: Ashton Kutcher's Hat"
"The Black List: Atkins Advantage Bars"
The Week in Craig's List (with Matt Tobey) Week of April 11
"The Week in Craig" (Week Ending April 4, co-written by
Matt Tobey)
"Waxing Off: Springtime for Boobies"
"In Celebration of This Fine, Fine Day, Five Women Weigh In ON What They Really Want for Valentine's Day--Hard Liquor" (hint: without me, there would be four women)
"A Super Waste of Time? A Super Fun Thing to Watch? Five Women Wax Off on The Super Bowl"
Chicago Tribune:
"If You're Kissing, Don't Tell, Especially When You've Been Drinking."
Dezmin’s Archives:
"Playing Like a Girl"
Flakmag:
"Polite to the End, and Afterwards"
"Queer Eye for the Straight Girl"
"In Memoriam: Bob Hope"
Review of Unemployment
Contributor:
"Snow in April."
Review of Childhood, "The Ugly Years"
"Amazing Sea-Monkeys"
September 11 Feature:
"Memories and Memorials"
"The Hollywood Diet"
"In Memoriam: Bill Peet"
Review: "Andy Richter Controls the Universe"
Weblog: "Why They Hate Us"
Superbowl Spectacular:
Commercial reviews
Halftime review
"Versace Ad Campaign"
"George Harrison"
"Listerine Oral Care Strips"
"Muscle Mania"
"Music to My Ears"
"September 11: My Generation"
"Why We Watch 'Sex and the City'"
Gaper's Block:
The Critic: Spelt
GhotiMag:
"An Invitation"
Hobart Pulp:
"Take Me Out"
The Hoya:
"Senior Job Hunt is Not as Glamorous As it Seems"
"Politics Should Match Easygoing Nature of Subway Series"
"Though Campuses Differ, Students Stay the Same"
"Non Sono Americana"
"'Hoya Saxa' Experiences Too Far Apart"
"I Can’t Believe We’re Seniors!"
"Veteran Senior Shares Experiences on Life as a Georgetown Hoya"
"Two Semesters is Better than One"
"Traveling Abroad with Parents"
"Off the Beaten Path"
"When in Rome Watch as the Americans Do?"
"At Mama Rosa’s in Italy, Bed Bugs Do Bite"
The Huffington Post:
American Idol: Why I Didn't Pick Pickler
An Elegy For ElleGirl
Knotmag:
"Post-College Cathies"
"A Tale of Two Catholics": Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6
McSweeneys:
Reviews of New Food: "Cherimoya"
Meomore:
"Fun, Fun Fun"
Midnight Mind Magazine (in print):
"In Praise of the Hangover"
Mississippi Review-Politics and Religion:
"Blaming J.Lo" (in print)
The New York Morning News:
"The Macca Attack"
"Saturday Night Fever"
OddJack:
Oddjack Cultural Oddsmaker: Paris Hilton’s Next Move
Opium Magazine:
Review: Torrefazione Peanut Butter Cookie
Parenthetical Note:
"On More Highly Evolved Teeth"
Professor Barnhardt's Journal:
"Words of Wisdom"
"Guilty Pleasures"
"Why I Write"
This is Grand:
"Unrequited Love in the Morning
TMS Campus:
"Go Ahead, Do it: Tell Your Parents You Love Them"
"Studying Abroad Provides More Truth Than Cliches"
The Wall Street Journal Online:
"The White Sox: Go Ahead, Ignore Us"
HUMOR
Barrelhouse Magazine:
"The Tragedy of Karl Malone"
Chicago Sports Review:
White Sox Fan's Guide: Postseason Rooting
Loose Ends: The Baseball Slut
Dezmin’s Archives:
"My First Movie"
"My First Album"
Dezmin's Archives Third Annual All-Star Baseball Edition:
"My First Season"
"WFLD Fox 32's Lineup of Investigative Reports"
"Prayer Cards and Hot Naked Action"
"Excerpts from Speeches I Have Prepared"
"Hey Man"
"Words to Live By, According to Jim Croce"
"Claire Zulkey: The Claire Zulkey Interview"
"Hybrid Word Fever"
"Employment Cover Letter from a Graduating College Senior"
Happywoman Magazine:
"Girl's Guide to Cute Heads of State"
"A Very Merry Emas"
Haypenny:
"Gut"
"Earl, the Lonely Lighthouse Keeper Receives His Annual Report."
"Earl, the Lonely Lighthouse Keeper, Goes on a Date"
One-Year Anniversary Wrap-Up
"How 'Bout These Kids?"
Kittenpants:
"Observations"
Knowumsayin:
"Sarah Hughes"
Angry Girl:
"Stupor Bowl"
"You Say You Want a Revolution?"
"Living in a State of Alert"
"Situation-Appropriate Mad Libs"
"SportsSpasms"
"Class Syllabus, Fall, 2002"
"What to Do in Case I Go Missing"
Lost Brain:
"Chantilly Lace: the Long Lost Lyrics, in their Entirety"
McSweeney's Internet Tendency:
"Secrets Revealed During Vh1's 'I Love the '90's'"
"Questions for VH1's "I Love the Eighties" Expert Celebrity Commentators"
"Items from the Neiman Marcus 2002 Christmas Book"
"Terrible Fake Names"
"Actual Headlines from the March InStyle Magazine"
Modern Humorist
"Girl Gone Wild: Highlights from Future Episodes of the Anna Nicole Smith Show"
Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney's Book of Lists
In Print: Buy it
here!
The New York Morning News:
"The Arthur Andersen Trial: Not as Boring as it Seems"
Opium Magazine:
"The Disappointed"
"Taxicab Confession"
"Some Delayed Responses"
"Seven Messes and How to Read Them"
"Small Spaces: A Christmas Story"
"Three Variations on My Day"
"How Each of the Items in My Shower Caddy Will Affect Our Relationship, My Dear Boy"
"The Rules, II"
"Occupational Haikus"
"Things I Realize I Do Not Miss About College, in Outline Form"
Quality Lit:
"Lesser-Known Drinking Games" (with Dave Myers)
Reinventing the World:
"References"
"A Petition for Truth"
So New Media:
BUY THESE BOOKS!
Words! Words! Words! Issue #3"Georgia"
Foreward to
Swift Kicks by David Gianatasio
Sweet Fancy Moses:
"Tru Luv"
"Please Help Us Preserve the Illusion of Normalcy"
"Hef and Me"
"Fat: The New Thin"
Two Note Solo:
"Beards" (page 24)
Über:
"Slut, Whore, or Lame-o?"
Fan Fiction
"New Internet Acronyms"
"Either/Or"
The Very Best Weblog Writing Ever By Anyone Anywhere In The Whole Wide World, Vol. 1
In Print: Buy it
here!
Yankee Pot Roast:
"The Gradual Decline of the "I Love the..." Sidebars
JOURNALISM
Arriviste Press:
Q&A With Arthur Bradford: "Misfits and Mad Grandmothers"
"When Life is Art: Trigger Happy TV"
CenterStage Chicago:
"Things to Do in Chicago When You're Sober"
Chicago Magazine:
March 2005 Issue: "A is for Amy"
Chicago Tribune:
"A Real Kick for Dancers"
"Professor Leads the Charge on Leadership Studies"
"Attracting Girls to Science Requires Human Touch"
"Running Straight for the Queer Guy"
Elegant Bride:
Feature on Magnolias Linens
Profiles of
Nanette Brown and
Bronson van Wyck
ElleGirl:
Class of 2008-"Kelly Has a New, Less Experienced Boyfriend"
Class of 2008-Kelly Mulvaney (November)
Class of 2008: Back to School
Fights, Blogs, Dating
Church, Grades, Guys
Dreamers & Boy Toys
First Semester Down
Class of 2008-Kelly Mulvaney (September 2005)
Knotmag:
"Til Finals Do We Part"
"Rock the Casbah with a Rock Hard Bod"
LA Times:
Melora Hardin: Out of office on 'The Office'
Mediabistro:
Media bite: Land Grant College Review
"What Would Tina Do?"
"How to Pitch: Jane Magazine"
"How to Pitch: Chicago Magazine"
Metromix:
"Destination: Fermentation"
"Lose the Wait."
Spring Tonics
Modern Bride:
April/May 2005 Issue: "Privacy Please: Peter Island"
NewCity Chicago:
"Dog Days"
"Beach Patrol"
"Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves"
"E-vanston"
Radar.com
Read in the Face
SCREEN Magazine:
"HUM Music’s Jeff Koz jams with 'NSync"
TMS Campus News:
"Slaves to the Web: Students Becoming Net Addicts"
"Fraternities Across U.S. Forced to Dry Up Their Acts"
"At William Woods U, It Pays to Play"
"Student’s Book Mandatory Reading at Western Carolina U."
"Illini Mascot Debate Rages On"
"Search for Slob Yields Winner"
"Students Urge Officials to Adopt a More Strict Code of Conduct"
"First Lady Keynote Speaker at Georgetown University"
"Economics Text Mixes Fiction and Instruction"
"Sesame Street's 'Sunny Days' available at Georgetown"
Today's Chicago Woman:
Running with the Pack (in print)
Smart Move: Invest in Real Estate
"The Real Jenny Craig"
"On Call: Careers in Nursing"
"Closing the Gap: Treating Heart Disease for Women"
Vista Magazine:
"Tying a Tuscan Knot" (Fall 2000)
Windy City Sports:
"Eating Out, Eating Right"
LITERATURE
Achingly Human:
"Better and Better"
BUY THIS BOOK!
The American Journal of Print:
"Birdwatching"
The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature:
"The Hill"
Eyeshot:
"Polygamy Problems"
Haypenny:
"Waxing Philosophical"
Opium:
"Equestrienne"
Really Small Talk:
"Apparently It's Hip to Do Drugs Again"
Reinventing the World:
"Hysterical"
Pindeldyboz:
"Strangers on a Train"
BUY THIS BOOK!
Pindeldyboz #2: "We are Claire, You are Not"
Wordriot:
"Careless"
Surgery of Modern Warfare:
"Pills and Soap"
Whet Magazine:
"Hangover Street"
"Late Summer Ride"
REVIEW
Bridge Magazine:
Review: Autopsy of an Engine
Centerstage Chicago:
Restaurant and bar reviews:
Atwood Cafe,
Cherry Red,
Deleece,
Il Fornello,
Four Moon Tavern,
The Green Room,
The Holiday Club,
The Kit Kat Club,
Liquid Kitty,
Nick's Uptown,
North Pond Cafe,
Orange,
Rhapsody,
Trullo and
Whiskey Sky.
LA Times:
Showtracker: "ER"--" Life isn't easy for Luka and Abby
Showtracker: "The Office--"He loves her"
NewCity Chicago:
Restaurant Review: Calo
No Great Mischief, by Alistair MacLeod
Coney, by Amram Ducovny
Dreamscape, by Graham Joyce
Popmatters:
A Ship Made of Paper, by Scott Spencer
Mr. Timothy, by Louis Bayard
Edison and the Electric Chair, by Mark Essig
John Follain's City of Secrets
A Million Little Pieces by
James Frey
Skipping Towards Gomorrah, by
Dan Savage
The Little Friend, by Donna Tartt
No Lifeguard on Duty, by Janice Dickinson
The Future Housewives of America, by Laurie Graham
Dorothy Parker's Elbow, edited by Kim Addonizio and Cheryl Dumesnil
Snobbery: The American Version by Joseph Epstein
As I Live and Breathe, by Jamie Weisman, MD
Media Unlimited, by Todd Gitlin
Complications, by Atul Gawande
Henderson's Spear, by Ronald Wright
The History of Suicide, by Georges Minois
In Therapy We Trust, by Eva S. Moskowits
The School of Beauty and Charm, by Melanie Sumner
Whose Improv is it Anyway?, by Amy E. Seham
Dogwalker, by Arthur Bradford
Fool’s Gold, by Jane S. Smith
I Almost Killed George Burns!, by Andy Nulman
Time Out Chicago:
Review: War Reporting for Cowards
ELSEWHERE ONLINE:
Travel Blogging at Jaunted
Old posts at MBToolBox
MISC.
The Boston Herald:
"Local Trio Serves Up Serious Fun - Knowumsayin?"
Over-the-top? Little old me?
Choizilla:
An interview with yours truly
Flakmag:
"About Claire Zulkey" A bio of me (plus a pic), in case you didn’t know enough already by now.
The Hoya:
"'English 109'" A Class Act"
Review of my one-act play. Didn’t see it? Don’t worry, neither did I.
NewCity Chicago:
"Best of Chicago, 2001."
"Best of Chicago 2002"
I only contributed here, but it’s a great guide to this fine city o’ mine.
Opium Magazine:
"The Temptress of Repartee"?
Read all about it in my interview. This time conducted by somebody other than myself. Be sad that you missed the Dezmopium Fandango.
"The Cedric Stines Interview."
Watch me flex my skills as I interview the inimitable Ced Stines.
Opium Magazine:
The Opium Awards: Nominations, Best Poetry, Best Funny
Rated Rookie:
"So What Exactly Do You Do, Marc Stines?"
Second City
Some snaps from my Writing show, "TV Misguided"
Suite 101:
"The Blog According to Zulkey," by Teresa DiFalco
Audio Zulkey!
Irritable Colon:
"Beseeching Claire to Help Set the Mood," a song where I generally make noise into a microphone and pretend to read Italian.
NPR:
Writer's Block Party: "Seven Messes and How to Read Them"
