January
28, 2004
permanent
link
Today
is the day to use the studfinder.
ORDER
MY BOOK!
I review the loneliest thing in the world on the Black
Table today.
Rank: The Democratic Party Presidential Candidates (By
Looks)
- Howard Dean. This guy was really good looking when he was young. In fact,
his whole family
was good looking. If I were him, I would run pictures of myself from 20
years ago in my campaign ads. Downside: Could a guy with a smile that tiny
get out a yell that loud?
- John Edwards. Nothing terribly objectionable here, but he has sort of
a Dan
Quayle/Pat Sajak thing going on that is keeping me away. Downside: Even
though he's not bad looking and he has a good, strong name, he still just
has the air of dork about him.
- John Kerry.
Sure, he's Presidential, but I've got two words for you: Guy
Smiley. Downside: What's with that loaf of hair?
- Wesley Clark. He's ok. His hair
looks like it has potential to develop its own personality, though, should
it get away from his strict military rule. Downside: He kind of reminds
me of the guy from
M*A*S*H*.
- Al
Sharpton. I will say this for him, he has improved his look by far over
the last few years. And you know what they say about men with more personality
being more attactive? Mmm-hmm. Downside: Probably will never love any woman
as much as he loves his hair
- Joseph
Lieberman. Ah. Well. Joe does have one thing working for him, and it's
that he sort of looks kind of like George
Washington, our first President. Downside: He makes the other candidates
look really, really hot.
- Dennis Kucinich: I totally forgot about this guy until somebody reminded me several hours after I wrote this. Maybe it's for the best.
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