My medical mystery--solved!

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9382921271_787a0a3bfc_b.jpgSome months ago I noticed something odd: I'd wake up and notice that my hands smelled funny, sort of like I had just finished chopping up garlic and onions. It's just the sort of thing that's not immediately alarming, like a stabbing stomach ache or a bad cut, but just strange and subtle enough to make me wonder if maybe I was dying on the inside, like maybe this was one of those things that is a sign of something bad that I should have paid closer attention to before it was too late.

I Googled and found just enough information to make me think this is a thing. I emailed a dermatologist friend and I emailed a nutritionist friend, neither of whom had much insight. This mysterious smell made me decide to give up a lot of stuff for Lent including pop, booze and sugar. Perhaps if I cured my insides that would solve the problem. At one point I even referred to it as "health issues" to a couple friend of ours and was embarrassed when they expressed concern and I had to admit my ailment was stinky hands.

Also, at the same time, I noticed these strange brown stains on my pillow case. That was an irritation but one of those things I shoved aside and wrote off as "Maybe I'm not washing my face well enough before bed" or "Maybe I spilled coffee in bed one morning and didn't realize it."

Finally, I figured it out. I am not growing an onion in my stomach nor do I have cancer. That whole time I just happened to be using this skin serum that a.) I rub on my hands before rubbing on my face b.) has a unique smell c.) Is brown. And I put it on right before bed. It only took me about three months to put it all together.

So you can stop worrying about my insides and now just start worrying that maybe I have lost all my brain cells.