Hate the Heat

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I have further thoughts on the Bulls. Deal with it.

I really wish Joakim Noah hadn't used that bad word the other day. Yes, for obvious reasons: it's a hurtful word that we really should retire (and if you say "Wah wah political correctness is bringing us down," you're basically saying "Don't tell ME not to be an asshole.")

But also, I liked thinking of the Bulls as a fairly pristine team. I'm choosing not to delve too much into their personal lives but I enjoyed thinking of them as the humble nice guys compared to the evil that is the Miami Heat. The Miami Heat are JERKS. They're led by Lebron James who, I'm sorry for the bad language here, is KING OF THE JERKS.

Of course I wouldn't feel this way about the Miami Heat if Lebron, Chris and Dwayne had all decided to play for, I don't know, the Knicks or the Celtics. Then I would hate that team. But Miami is where they settled and that's whom I hate. And it helps that they represent a city full of people I've never met but who I imagine are smug and tan. Doesn't a Kardashian live there?

If the Bulls weren't playing such a hateful team, if they were playing the Mavericks or that other team I didn't know existed until three weeks ago, I wouldn't be as torn up about it. But if the Bulls fail, then evil wins and I hate that. But even more I hate Noah making me feel we're slightly evil too.

Listen, I don't know why ESPN doesn't pay me to write this stuff.

If you read this far by the way you might as well know that I'm leading a chat on the American Idol finale at the AV Club tonight. Come by!