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The Cubs/Sox series is always a highlight of the summer because, if it's a year like this year's, you might be having a crappy baseball season overall but at least for two series you can pretend what your team's doing actually matters, just because if they win they'll wipe the stupid smiles off those idiot faces of those a-holes who root for the other team. Those people who root for the other team are the worst. They take up room on the El and cheer too loud and ruin your time at the game and frighten the kids and are drunk slobs. They're all the same.

This year though the series got a little less classy because they introduced a trophy for the Crosstown Classic. I saw them roll it out on Friday and it's embarrassing. It's both overly large and cheap-looking, like maybe they could only afford a medium-sized nice trophy so they built it on top of some paper towel holders spraypainted gold to make it taller.

But more than how dumb-looking the trophy is, what's more ridiculous is how dumb it is. Everyone in the city understands that winning the Crosstown Classic is all about symbolism. Sometimes the better team wins the series. Sometimes not. Most of the time both teams kind of stink. Those of us who know baseball, too, know that a lousy six games does not represent the quality of an entire team or season. So whomever wins the trophy simply has the distinction of stinking less during those six games. I can't imagine the actual athletes would be proud of the Crosstown Trophy. I can imagine them hanging their jocks on it in the locker room as a joke.

But what happens if there's a tie? Does the trophy go back in its very special cardboard box-case? I hope that if there's a tie this year both teams agree to cut the trophy down the middle and promise to bring it back together next season but in reality just throw it away once they get home.

I don't think the trophy makes anybody happy, the teams or the fans. The only Crosstown trophy the fans would enjoy is a World Series win accompanied by a contract signed by God in His own blood promising that the other Chicago team will never win another World Series in the history of time, Amen, period.