The Objectification of Sandwiches Must Stop

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I wrote about "American Idol" last night.

Terry Richardson shot the following sandwich for Interview Magazine:

This just makes me sad. After all the fighting that we have done on behalf of sandwiches through the years, this particular sandwich and Richardson decided to go this route? Is this really tasteful? (No pun intended. AT ALL. This is serious). What example does this set for young sandwiches everywhere? Just laying there, being carried by a bunch of guidos, being gobbled by some bimbo in a bathing suit who probably isn't even enjoying it.

Obviously, my knee-jerk reaction is that Richardson must have coerced that poor innocent sandwich into a compromising photo shoot. That sandwich was probably fresh off the bus, wide-eyed and innocent, and Richardson sidled up to it and said "Hey baby, let me dress you up, put you in front of a white background--you're going to be a star!" And that poor naive sandwich succumbed and now look at it. Who's going to respect it now?

But I feel that that is unfair to Richardson. The sandwich must also be held accountable. Perhaps it wasn't raised in a household with a strong sandwich role model, but still, in this day and age you'd think (or perhaps just wish) a sandwich would have a little more self-respect than that. I guess I can understand how a sandwich, without thinking, would go in for a little fun and exposure but I think sandwiches everywhere need to think about how they want to be represented from here on out. Sandwiches are serious. Sandwiches need to be given respect. Sandwiches should not be objectified because if so that will just lead to the wanton and disrespectful treatment of sandwiches everywhere and we have not fought so long and so hard for that.

I really want a sandwich.