Heidi Montag, You Blew It

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Ah! Heidi Montag. I would feel sorry for you but, well, look at who you are. No way.

The very first time I heard about Heidi Montag, it was for her plastic surgery a few years ago. It was so weird to hear someone TALKING about her plastic surgery and not just looking different and claiming she's eating vegan now or something. At the same time it was weird to hear someone admit her insecurities to the public. I don't like the way I look. I am changing it.

So that's how I heard of her and I honestly had a hard time picking out which the "before" and "after" Heidis were sometimes. All that hoopla and she merely upgraded from ordinary to bland. She looks like a sheet of white paper to me either way.

Anyway, it seemed like she was laying low lately, and it's been revealed that it's because she was getting massive amounts of NEW plastic surgery. Once again, she's talking about how much she loves the surgery, even while Billy Bush tries to convince her that getting old and withering away (she's 23) is awesome (leave her alone, Billy! Like everyone else you interview is so normal.) She LOVES plastic surgery, as an innovation and for how it makes her happier about herself. Weird, but at least she's honest.

But this is the bad part--all this round of surgery has made her look like she's had plastic surgery (just google her and you'll see pictures). Fake eyes. Fake lips. Fake cheeks. Like a doll. Plastic surgery fail. The whole point, I thought, of plastic surgery, was to make yourself look like a subtly nicer version of yourself. Looking like you had obvious work done is pretty freaky, at least to most of the population. It's just sad to me that Heidi didn't have another shot to make a subtle change. Instead she got greedy, went from ordinary to bland to OK to kinda pretty and then maybe full-on pretty and THEN to the tweaked-up old lady stage. She skipped most of the steps.

But here is the sick part--that is also the most awesome part, let's be honest. At the rate she's going she's going to look like Joan Rivers when she's 35. So while the whole thing is kind of sad, I look forward to seeing how this all plays out. And if she really enjoys it, I don't think it's that bad to enjoy it too.