This Thing Below is Very Silly

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I possibly shouldn't publish it. It was borne of a joke my husband and I had going in the car last week. But I don't have anything else for you today so proceed with caution. if you want to read less silly things you can read which entertainment scared me and also what I thought of Project Runway last night. Also, we're almost all wrapped up with Dracula!

And now, for your reading "pleasure", a story whose origins come from me asking my husband "If you wrote a song for a James Bond film what would it be called? The answer being "Jingly Jingly (Kitty Kitty)." Here is the explanation of the accompanying movie.

Jingly Jingly, by Steve Delahoyde

When my wife and I are together, often in the car, I like to share with her some of my brilliant ideas for films. Although she is not a big shot Hollywood producer or a filmmaker herself, I enjoy exposing her to the unlimited potential I feel the medium is capable of, while also hoping to reaffirm her belief that she has selected an intelligent, thoughtful life partner.

The other day, as we were driving home, I decided to tell her about an idea I'd just had for a new James Bond movie. As you know, the last two films, Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace, have given the decades-old franchise a much needed boost. My film, I believe, will continue this trajectory at an even greater pace.

The film begins with James Bond digging a hole somewhere. He digs and digs, and when he feels it's deep enough, he crawls out and covers it with twigs and fallen branches. He roots around in his pockets a bit and brings out his keys. He begins to shake them, so they make a jingly, jingly noise. This draws the attention of his arch nemesis, Kitty Kitty, a grown man in a black, latex suit, with a tail and whiskers drawn in grease paint on his face. The sound intrigues Kitty Kitty and he cautiously approaches. Bond has to maneuver him just so until, whamo, Kitty Kitty falls into the pit. Bond says something witty like "Looks like you fell into that hole!" and then he runs off. The rest of the movie sees Bond driving around in a car. Not any special sort of tricked out car, just a regular one. I think the film should be called Jingly Jingly and this variation of the iconic opening sequence should feature the original John Barry arrangement, except played on one of those synthesizers where it sounds like cats are singing.

To my wife, and now to her readers, I say "You're welcome!"