I am considering making this a recurring series because to me, overreacting to things is both emotionally gratifying and also hilarious. One time my friend Jess and I were watching the show "Intervention" and this huffer was on and Jess went "What? She huffs computer cleaner?" and then she uttered a REALLY loud and strongly said profanity that really was not required but its brute strength was hilarious.
I forgot my goddamn lunch today. It is not actually a real problem when you think about all the real problems in the world but you know in your own tiny world when you get up early and you work out and you make yourself a healthful YET delicious salad and you're halving grapes like a crazy person and washing the apple ahead of time and measuring out a portion of peanut butter to enjoy and you get on the bus and feel ok about everything and are really looking to eating that lunch later and you flash back with horror to your lunch happily sitting on the table in the kitchen which is rapidly getting farther behind you, then, well, you just want to curse with unnecessary loudness and strength. You mourn your wasted time and good intentions. The money you spent on the groceries spent for that lunch seems like the most savage waste of money in the history of time. And then you have to start thinking about what you WILL do for lunch because it will take too long to go back home and get your lunch and you ponder what out there will equal the delicious healthfulness of your first lunch and the answer is NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL so you might as well just GIVE UP ON EVERYTHING.
I feel better now. I may try this the next time I bite my tongue or something (another great thing to overreact to).