Don't Live in California

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OK, so I'm one to talk. I live in Chicago, the coldest city in the history of time, blah blah blah. But at least the cold doesn't burn down your house, or put holes in the ground, or cover you with mud (usually). The cold doesn't typically make annual news.

But why are we still surprised year after year when California wildfires spread? They spread EVERY YEAR. They are never not going to happen and they are never going to mess everything up. Take a hint, California: the fires are winning. They're burning YOUR shit down and it's not one of those things that can learn a lesson if you just beat it back long enough. Give it up.

And now there are mudslides. I don't know from mudslides, because I live in a nice flat part of the country. But apparently mudslides are also very scary and dangerous. These too happen every year in California. At the very least, why don't you just put up a fence around the area with the mudslides and just avoid it forever? I know I would.

Finally, earthquakes. Oh, we have those too. Never mind, I guess.