My Blago Story

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I would like to share a story with you. While I was in college in Washington DC I had an internship at Datelin NBC. I'm still trying to figure out whether the internship was a good experience or not but one of the perks of the gig was that, occasionally, interns got to go on shoots and observe. I tagged along one time to a shoot at the Capitol with the pirate genius Geraldo Rivera. Geraldo is exactly like what you'd think he'd be in real life. Short. Kind of clay-looking. Mustachioed. Repellant with the tiniest hint of compellingness due to his repellantness. Geraldo asked me at one point if I was the makeup girl and I said no, I was an intern but I had my own makeup in my bag if he wanted some. I was drinking water from a Nalgene container and after complaining about how there was no bottled water at the shoot, asked if he could have some of mine but first checking to make sure "you don't have oral herpes or something."

So anyway Geraldo was so thirsty he gave me and the other intern some money to go fetch some bottled water but the nearest place to buy bottled water was a good 20 minute walk away. We bought a couple bottles of Evian and came back and by that time Geraldo was gone. So I kept the change, naturally.

We had to kill time before we were done so I recall poking around the grounds, heading up to another intern who was tagging along with a guy carrying a camera marked WGN-Channel 9 (which is a Chicago station in case you didn't know). I asked the intern what they were doing and he said they were doing an interview with some Representative who had a funny name. Then this Representative showed up and they did the interview. I stuck around to watch. The Representative introduced himself to me and asked me where I was from and of course he was pleased that I was sort of his constituency. But I remember thinking, "What an ass this guy is." I'm serious, even compared to Rivera. Rivera seemed like a jerk but that was no surprise. This guy was a jerk who was trying to pass himself off as a nice guy. You know, a politician-type.

So it was surprising to me some time ago when this jerkoff was voted governor of our state. I didn't vote for him based on that one time I met him and the few seconds it took for his phoniness and smarminess to come through.

But finally my hunch was proved right yesterday. This guy IS an asshole and my life-trend of judging famous people by the few seconds I've known them personally paid off. James Frey=nice to me so I'll always stand up for him. Katie Couric=nice to me so I'll always feel favorably towards her. Rod Blagojevich=cocky son of a bitch fake jerk both to me and to all.

This is going to be an awesome scandal and I'm really excited about it because everyone can get behind it. It's not like the election where well-meaning people disagree. Everyone can agree that this guy sucks wholly and completely and we can all enjoy his fall from grace.

I don't want to go around saying that before Blagojevich was elected to the governor I knew he was going to be one of our most corrupt politicians ever but if you want to say I'm a seer, I won't stop you.