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I wrote about the show "Dexter" last night, if you happen to watch. Also I contributed to this funny piece on awful Christmas presents for the Onion AV Club.

I have been eating pumpkin pie for four days straight and so I'm not really that clear-headed to have something interesting and holiday-related to ruminate upon. But I do have a complaint I'd like to lodge: LED Christmas lights. UGH. We have this sad little malformed pine tree in our back yard-cube and I was looking forward to decorating it with lights because as we all know, Christmas lights are festive and exciting and sexy (I'm not even kidding). Well, I got these lights on, which was a major bitch because the tree is up against a fence and missing half the branches it should have (poor little city tree). I had an idea I didn't do a great job but it didn't matter because when I turned the lights on, I wanted to throw up. I don't understand how it could be that a Christmas light could make a tree look WORSE than when it has no lights on it, but it's like the tree was decorated with a million little computer screens or something. I felt like I was at the office, or maybe that there was a car with its headlights on parked behind the tree. That's how pretty it looked. It doesn't twinkle--it's just there.

It's hard to explain but just trust me, if somehow you can get away with not using LED lights this season, don't get them. Even if it sets your house on fire, that fire would still be prettier than a tree with those lights on.