The End is Nigh

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First some writey things. "Dexter" premiered on Sunday which I covered for the LAT and also I wrote about Rachel Dratch, to many people's chagrin, for the Onion AV Club.

Moreover however I'd like to draw your attention to this piece I wrote for Deadspin earlier this year. Now I am the first person to admit that I am not exactly qualified to write the Chicago White Sox Season Previews but as long as they offer the gig to me I'm going to take it and mangle it. BUT! I (or more specifically, my friend Leonard Pierce) left open the possibility that the Chicago White Sox would make it to the postseason and OH LOOKIE HERE it's October and the team is still alive! Nobody believed it would happen except maybe Leonard and only I had the balls to let the man speak.

Of course the downside of all this is that the world is going to end soon. I had a feeling it was going to happen. Somewhere between my upcoming wedding and the economy going into the port-o-let (because we can't afford toilets anymore) things were feeling a little apocalyptic. I mean maybe Barack Obama IS the Antichrist (but I still will vote for him). Now both Chicago teams are in the playoffs.

I never believed that those scientists in Switzerland were actually going to create a black hole with their new accelerator. What I will believe will happen however is that the Sox and Cubs will meet in the World Series. The game will be tied in the bottom of the ninth and some dude is going to hit the ball, hard but unfortunately the universe will turn itself inside-out before we have the chance to see if it was a foul tip, a home run or merely a major-league popup. This is the perfect way for the world to end: with all Chicagoans riled up and unsatisfied.