You're On Thin Ice, China

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We didn't say anything to you because we know you tried so hard, and that earthquake was just terrible.

But don't push it, OK? If Americans like one thing, it's adorable singing children, gymnasts and fireworks. If we find out that you've been faking something else, like airbrushing Michael Phelps' abs, we're going to have to have words. So cut it out.