A commentary on some of the ways InStyle Weddings suggests I personalize my wedding

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But first: Wednesday nights are busier for me these days, by the way: I'm reviewing "So You Think You Can Dance" and "Project Runway" now for the LA Times.com. If you're a "SYTYCD" fan come to the site at 1 PM PST to join in a chat I'm co-hosting.

"Have the valets at your receptions discreetly place a CD sampling of your wedding music in guests' car CD players. "
I would make fun of this if I were a guest at that wedding. And I'd wonder if all my change was still in the ashtray.

Share your feelings: when guests attending the wedding of NBA player Eric Williams and Jennifer Lauren Guyton took their seats at the reception, the first thing they read wasn't the menu card. The planner had asked Williams to write a surprise love note to Guyton, which she then had calligraphed, printed and placed at each guest's setting."

Be honest: this is actually just a way to make other couples feel bad about how unspecial their love is. Everyone is going to smile politely and fold the note up after saying "Oh, how nice." The only way to make this interesting is if the note is really raunchy.

Widen your circle. For Laurence Fishburne's 2002 wedding to Gina Torres, Preston Bailey had a circle of rose petals sprinkled around the bride, which closed completely when Fishbourne joined her inside. "It was very symbolic because at that moment it meant they were both inside the circle of love," said Bailey.
Oh, the circle of love. Not a circle of Hell. I get it.

Give a love tote. Show you care about the environment by sending guests off with a customized grocery tote bag.
Not once in my life have I seen a human being walking around with a personalized item from somebody else's wedding. That tote is going to end up in a landfill.

Sing your life. For his 2007 marriage to Tamkea Foster, USher wrote a song called "Here I stand," about weathering life's trials and tribulations with the one you love. For those less musically inclined, Diann Valentine suggests your first dance not be to a popular song but to one with lyrics that "really reflect your relationship."
Crap: I had my first dance narrowed down to either the Hokey Pokey or Happy Birthday.

Save the forests: Show your eco-awareness by requesting tree-free papers and soy-based inks when designing your invites and save-the-dates.
Okay, but how do you tactfully print "this paper is tree-free and this ink is soy based" on the invites? Because there's no point in showing your eco-awareness unless everyone else can appreciate it.