I've been busy this week. Tuesday I got to participate on a conference call with Tina Fey: you can see my writeup here. Then I chatted with the gal who got kicked off America's Next Top Model. And additionally, as usual, I wrote up ANTM, Idol and Beauty and the Geek
Today I interview a man who wears a lot of crazy hats. He's a widely published writer (for Vice, Hustler, and GQ, ), a senior editor at MacLife magazine, is a singer for the art-rock band Oxbow and has appeared in several films and TV shows. He also is a former bouncer, the 1998 CAAT Heavyweight Men's Sanshou champ, 2nd place overall and 1st place divisional 2003 California Submission Fighting champ. It's on this last bit of expertise which he covers in his book Fight: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Ass-Kicking but Were Afraid You'd Get Your Ass Kicked for Asking, published in November. I'm not afraid of him though: I've occasionally gone to 45 minute cardio kickboxing classes at my neighborhood gym, so I'm sure I could take him.
Would you ever fight a girl
I usually fight whoever is interested in fighting me. in this way I'm fairly promiscuous. If you want to fight me, and I am sure you want to fight me? I will do my level best to accommodate you and your interests.
Irrespective of race, color, creed, gender or numbers in your group. Though I must say history has taught me that fighting more than four people at once is probably foolhardy.
How do girls typically fight differently from guys?
Well there are only two types of fighters...those who know how to fight and those who don't. The latter group is not even really a type so lets say there are those who know how to fight and those who are hoping they can skate by on raw emotion or some such thing. But between girls and boys? No. Girls who really know how to fight well in my opinion fight no more or less savagely than equally talented men. This is for the first group. In the second group it might be said that women fight with more passion but I usually can't be too bothered to watch or pay attention to those who are not schooled in this shit anymore than I can sit through a "You Sing It" version of Handel's Messiah.
What are the ideal circumstances under which to get in a fight, IE location, clothing, temperament, etc? (I'm talking about everyday civilians, not trained fighters)
Well I can tell you the three situations in which you are most likely TO get into a fight.
a] when you're well dressed.
b] when you're in a hurry
c] when you're in a well-dressed couple in a hurry.
Because it's widely and correctly assumed that you will not want to take the time. Conversely all the rest is true as well: if you're dressed like shit and walking slow and alone [for a man at least] you're probably the most unstable element there is and you will be given wide berth.
But location? In public around others who might stop things if they're going badly for you.
Clothing? Anything crappy that can't be easily pulled over your head.
Temperament? You'll always fight better the more relaxed you are. unfortunately this is impossible for many.
When is worth opting into a fight vs. when it's not?
Opting in is always worth it to protect yourself or others. When it's not? In the face of vastly superior numbers....or over some stupid relationship-jealousy-how could you fuck my best friend shit.
What did you write for Hustler (and Hustler's Busty Beauties?)
The Hustler Busty Beauties piece was my first piece for them and it was a previously published interview with Russ Meyer star Kitten Natividad....other pieces including articles on the 10 Worst Places to Live in America....steroid abusers...collection thugs and so on.
As a bouncer, if you had to stereotype, which type of clubgoers tend to be the most trouble?
Single unappealing men.
What are some of your favorite fights from movies?
These are listed in the book. I'd give you a page number. but I am too sleepy to do so.
You have quite an interesting resume: why did you decide to make this book about fighting, vs. music or acting?
Judith Regan asked. Snd she did not give a shit about music, acting or any of my other five non-profitable interests/pasttimes.
My brother has a fourth degree blackbelt in Tae Kwon Do and was a captain in the Army. He's about 5'11 and I'd guess maybe 190 pounds: how would you two match up?
I'd beat him. very quickly too. unless you tell me he also wrestled in high school or college, he's a goner. and you can tell him I said so, hahah....
Do you have a training regimen? You look like you're not as squinty and soft as most of us writers tend to be.
Ha: it's insane. You don't even want to know....running up hills with bags of gravel., lots of weightlifting, fighting, and now dieting: my walking around weight is like 245 which is too heavy and so now I have dropped to 220. Oxbow has shows this summer and I need to be able to last for an hour on stages that seem to be getting bigger.
What are your thoughts on steroids and HGH?
HGH is worthless. Unless you measure worth by hat size. Steroids are MUY FANTASTICO! But they will not make you a better ANYTHING. They're just cooler to take than, say, weed.
Speaking of squinty/soft types, why do (some) Mac users tend to be so strident about their choice of computer?
For the same reason that anyone drives a Mini Cooper. They want the world to know how special they are. deep deep down special.
What type of crowd typically composes the audience of an Oxbow show?
People who come to the show alone. and Aeople who leave alone.
Why do you perform in your undies?
It gets very hot on stage. Well that and the fact that the world needs to see my penis.
Which of your tattoos was the most painful to receive?>
The one on the back of my right leg. I thought I would lose my mind. And i guess it didn't help that I told the guy, "and make it SNAPPY!!!"
How does it feel to be the 204th person interviewed for Zulkey.com?
Not so good. I am big on numerology and 204 means I will get killed. By an angry lover. Or some such thing.
Don't worry, you're actually 203.
Whew. Much much better......seriously. I may get killed anyway, but I just won't see it coming.
More interviews here!