An Ode to Mothers, and I'm Not Talking About the Virgin Mary

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To Debbie Nelson:

For having the courage to set aside any bad feelings towards her son for writing songs about wishing to murder her, for purely selfless reasons.

To Lynne Spears:
For teaching her daughters the importance of being a really hot, young mom.

To this lady:
For not taking any crap from a 6 year old.

To my mom:

For also "teaching me a lesson" by leaving me at the mall. 22 years later, I finally made it out and learned that when she says it's "time to go," it's really time to go.