Today is the day to have low expectations.
Transcript of Ron's original calls of the Cubs/Diamondbacks game on Saturday.
Tested theory:
First Inning, Original Reaction: : "Oh, my God. ... He's hit two homers on fastballs. It's about time we threw him something else. My gosh."
New reaction: "Oh, my God! He's hit two homers on fastballs! It's about time we threw him something else! My gosh!!"
Fourth Inning, Original Reaction: "My God, gosh. ... Things aren't going our way, no doubt."
New Reaction: "My God!!"
Fifth Inning, Original Reaction: "Oh, no! Oh, my God."
New Reaction: "Oh no! Oh, my God! Oh, the humanity."
Sixth Inning, Original Reaction: "Ah ... oh ... (long sigh)."
New Reaction: "Oh...oh....[shriek]"
Seventh Inning Stretch, Original Reaction: "All right, we need a lot of help. This one is for you. This game is not over."
New Reaction: "Come on, you assholes!"
Eight Inning, Original Reaction: "We worked so hard to get here. You hate to go out without a battle."
New Reaction: "We are not going without a battle, goddammit!"
Soriano flyout to end game, Original Reaction, Silence.
New Reaction: Sound of the breaking off of a bottle to go start a riot.
Theory proven.