Sticking it To Me

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I have two shout outs to give. One is to friend and fellow writer Melissa Walker, whose debut young adult book Violet on the Runway came out last week. Please check out her site and order the book for any young adults you may know.

Also, over the weekend, Steve Delahoyde, acquaintance of somehow had a video of his be the featured film on Youtube. Please check it out and shower it with favorable comments and reviews, and do the same for his other films (my favorite is "Kid.") Oh, if you're watching it at work, "Boxes" does feature some "language." You know, the f-word kind. Tee hee!

You would not believe the morning I've already had. Today I was going to write about that roid-raging, arrogant robot that Fox displays as it goes into and out of commercials during NFL football. It was driving me crazier than Rex Grossman. I hate that freaking thing. I don't ever see it play, just getting all pumped up and waving to the crowd, and for what?

But then I thought that little random rant wasn't very interesting or even original. That robot is not even a rookie so what can I say. Same old underperforming robot. So then I was going to write about Britney Spears and how she's allegedly saying the reason why she sucked so bad last night on the VMAs was because she was so distracted by Sarah Silverman saying mean things about her children. And I was going to say, suck it up, Britney. That's a part of being professional. If I did a poor job every time Sarah Silverman insulted ME I'd be fired a million times over. Don't ask my why or how Sarah Silverman repeatedly contacts me just to insult me but if I weren't such a pro, believe me, it would rattle me, but it doesn't.

So that was going to be hilarious but then something crazy happened this morning. I got stung by a wasp.

I've only been stung by a bee once before and this was about ten years ago. I didn't even know that I had been stung by a bee per se but an hour later when I was covered with welts and my eyes were swelling shut I had an inkling. Since then I've carried around an epi-pen with me in the summer months, which I occasionally take out of my purse and brandish when I want to feel special.

Today I had to use the thing for the first time ever. Once again I wasn't sure if I had actually been stung by something that could cause me to go into anaphylactic shock--I thought I had just been scraped on the arm by something--but then I lifted my arm and the yellow and black culprit fell away. I was freaked out half because I didn't know how fast I would start reacting to the bite (I have heard that the symptoms get worse with each sting) but mostly because I didn't want to use the needle. Have you ever seen an Epi-Pen? It looks like this:

Scary, right? Fortunately I'd used a practice pen on myself a few times so I walked the block or two back up to my apartment, lowered my pants and took the plunge:

Actually it was more like on my hip, and I was standing up. And wearing jeans, not a dress.

It didn't hurt at all, actually. I plunged pretty hard so I felt more the press of the pen against me than anything else. I held it there for ten seconds. But when I pulled it out, I felt pretty bad ass. I've only see the black plastic tip of the pen before, not the needle itself:

When it came out I had a bloody spot to match the one on my arm.

So anyway I was (and am) all hyped up on adrenaline, but the ER doc told me to take the day off work and pump myself full of Benedryl which I plan on doing. But I wanted to share my amazing story with you because I promised I'd be back today, and I wanted to be a professional about it, Sarah Silverman or Fox robot be damned.

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