Today is the day to thank your accountant.
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Today is part two in my Christmas drink extravaganza. Have a very merry Christmas and happy new year--hope it's full of drunken good times and designated drivers. Zulkey.com will return to you January 8, 2007.
New Drink Names for the Cranberry and Vodka/Cape Codder (I have a feeling some of these are actual drink names. I will investigate. When you read them, imagine saying "I'll have ..." at the bar.)
From Kelly Karsner:
Hair on My Chest
Chick on a Trampoline
From "Anonymous" (Hint: She is Related to Me):
A Punch in the Face
Cranka (as in: "Darling, you're a little cranka. Maybe it's time you had a nap.")
Claire's Knee (name might be taken; movie title? better check this out with legal)
VC (tag line: "... for those still fighting the 'other' war")
Moolawn Rouge ("... the latest cool drink from the 'new' Wisconsin. The reason why Nicole Kidman moved to Madison. Got Rouge?")
Red Tongue Set
Pinko Flamingo ("... when a Commie under every bed was the American Dream")
Pink Fl'amigo ("... the Little Habana-arrow."
Bloody Sister Mary
Mod Vod Blod Squad (as in: several cool Chicago-linos seated at a corner booth drinking vodka crans)
New names for existing drinks (or drinks that have yet to be invented) that sound kind of manly:
Iwo Jima Flim-Flam
Black & Decker
Ninja & Seven
Time Machine (probably better for a shot)
Perhaps he should consider naming the drink after a tougher cape. Cape Horn, at the Southern tip of South America, is notorious for being difficult and dangerous to navigate from a sailing standpoint. Cape Cod is too vacation-y. He could even track down some little sailor figurines and drop them in the drink, or a little ship even, and a splash of grenadine might give it that blood effect. I'm unsure if the waters around Cape Horn contain sharks, but what the hell, throw a little shark in there, too. Sharks are pretty manly. He walks around with a beverage like that, and people are going to fear him.
There ought to be a drink called the Pimp Slap
When I was a waiter, we used to have a frequent customer, a homeless man, who would come in all the time and order a Cape Codder and idly sip at it for a couple hours. I can't say that I blamed him; it was a much nicer place than the Allston sidewalk, and though he upset some of the customers, our manager and bartenders would have kicked them out before kicking him out. So, oddly, I associate the term "Cape Codder" with homelessness.