Today is the day to show up smiling.

Book By Its Cover Review: The 2016 Chicago Olympic Games

In case you didn't know, here in Chicago, Mayor Richard Daley is 'exploring' the possibility of putting in a bid to host the 2016 Olympics.

His main rationale is the improvement and visibility it will bring to Chicago. My point is: I don't want any more visibility. I think we're pretty visible already. Are we really thinking that we're going to seriously move our position as the Second (or Third) City? We're not, and yet we like it. We love complaining about how full of themselves New Yorkers and Angelenos are. Some people may say that's sour grapes, but it's mostly just because we love to bitch here in Chicago. It's our favorite sport. Also, I hate even saying this because I don't want to jinx it, but very few times have I heard our fair town brought up as a target of terrorism according to intercepted terrorist "chatter." That's the kind of low profile I love.

Daley also adds that the World's Columbian Exposition of 1893 and the 1933 World's Fair helped redefine Chicago, and so would the 2016 Olympics. But while the 1893 Columbian Exposition gave us the Ferris Wheel, the 2016 would only give us a big new sports arena which isn't nearly as much fun.

Plus, the city would be chock full of athletes, tourists and the like if we hosted the Olympics. Do you know how hard it is just walking down Michigan Avenue during the holidays, when tourists are out looking at the lights? The Olympics, or rather, the people they would bring to the city, would bring a lot of annoyance.

Need I mention, also, that by the time 2016 rolls around, I will be 37. Obviously, I will be too old and brittle to even enjoy the Games by that time.

My final point is: the Olympics are kind of gay anyway.