Today is the day to
recommend an alarm clock that DOES NOT shut off.
Mrs. Zulkey.com, my mom, is out of town but she still left
some advice in her wake. Have a question for her? Send
it in.
Dear Mrs. Zulkey.com Would Love to Have You Over (as Long
as You're Well-Behaved)
Dear Mrs. Zulkey.com,
I'm afraid I don't know the rules on staying with a friend and his or her
parents. What are appropriate gifts for the parents? I usually stick to a
bottle of wine, a houseplant or some sweets, something under $20, for the
parents, but I'm wondering what I'm overlooking. Also, what is expected and
what is appreciated when it comes to housework when one is a houseguest? As
the parent of 20-somethings, I'd expect you have some insights into the
expected behavior of the friends your kids bring home for a visit.
Thank you!
Clueless Crasher
P.S. Just to be clear, I am not fishing for an invitation. Really.
Dear Clueless,
Housework? You mean like cleaning the oven or washing the windows?
Be my guest! I don't think many hostesses expect you to do much,
unless you're staying longer than a weekend. Just help clear the table
after dinner, hang up your wet towels, make your bed every day. If
your stay is extended, keep an eye out for ways to pitch in. Is she
unloading groceries from the car? Run out to help. Is dinner
nearly ready? Help set the table. Was there a blizzard
overnight? Grab the snow shovel. If you're the first one up,
make the coffee. Ask your hostess how she'd like you to deal with your
linens as you leave. Offer to take sheets and towels down to the
laundry room. Of course, you shouldn't be leaving any remnants of
yourself behind. In other words, no hair in the sink.
As far as a token of your appreciation, you're safe giving the usual, as
you've been doing. But let's try making it more personal. Do
they like to cook? I always enjoy getting unusual oils and vinegars or
a cookbook from your hometown. If your visit precedes a holiday,
something seasonal would be lovely. Perhaps some Christmas cocktail
napkins (linen, not paper), an ornament or a CD of carols. I once
received a Halloween decoration from a visitor and think of her every year
when I bring it out. During the summer, try patio candles or outdoor
serving pieces. Are they movie buffs? Roger Ebert usually has
some book out on the best/worst films he's ever seen. One of Claire's
visiting friends took a picture of the four Zulkeys as she was leaving and
sent it along with her thank you note. (Notice I said thank-you note.)
Miraculously, we all looked wonderful in it and it was one of the best
hostess gifts I've ever received.
One thing you didn't inquire about was the extent of social interaction
between you and the parents. Spend enough time chatting with us so
that we don't feel like we're simply your hoteliers, but not so much time
that we start to wonder if you and our child have had a fight. It's
absolutely essential you tell us how much you love our city and that you're
having a marvelous time. One last thing. If your relationship is
a romantic one, please refrain from PDA's which make us uncomfortable.
You are quite welcome - anytime.
