February 10, 2003
Today is the day to fall down the stairs and act like it's no big deal.
It's not really hip to truly enjoy Valentine's Day. At best, you can think it's sweet or kind of all right, if you've got a significant other or friends and family who make it tolerable and/or fun. But the more common responses to Valentine's Day are phrases like "living hell," "cruel," and "the worst day of the year." The phrase I hear most used for Valentine's Day, though, is "made-up holiday."
Despite the history of the holiday , many people assert that Valentine's Day is a day manufactured by gift companies and cardmakers to grab a few bucks after the holiday shopping season.
Which makes me wonder; why aren't there more manufactured holidays? We in the U.S. have about half the vacation days and holidays of Europe; maybe we shouldhave more holidays.
Thus, your newest assignment, Zulkey.com readers. If you could invent a holiday, what would it be? When would it take place? What would it commemorate and how would it be celebrated? "Mid-nineties Nostalgia Day," held on the anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death, signaling the advent of the flannel shirt season? "Banana Day," wherein everyone everywhere should pause to eat a banana? "Chita Rivera Memorial (Even Though She Isn't Dead) Day?"
Let me know. Responses will
run on Monday. As for Friday: will you be mine? I mean, seriously, like, can
I own you? I've got some errands to run and a servant would be very helpful.